Ask Yourself Why

Dave Ramsey tells a story about a man who won a prize ham. He brought it home, proud as can be, and gave it to his wife to cook. She preheated the oven, prepared the pan, cut off the last few inches of the ham, and placed it into the pan to bake. When the ham was served, the man complained, saying, “Why did you cut off the end? That is the best part of a ham!” The wife replied, “I don’t know. That is how my mother always did it. I am sure there is a good reason.” They decide to call and ask the wife’s mom, who said, “I don’t know why. My mother always did it that way, so I figured that was the best way to cook it.” Fortunately, grandma was still living, so they called her up to ask her the secret. Grandma (once she had stopped giggling) explained that the reason she cut the end off the ham was because her baking pan was too small for the whole thing.*

The point of the story is this: we do a lot of things simply because our parents did it that way, and we believe a lot of things simply because the people with whom we associate believe those things. I want to introduce you to a word today: metacognition. We use it a lot in education. It means “thinking about thinking,” or, to put it another way, thinking about your own thought processes. It means becoming aware of what you think, and asking yourself why you think that way.

For example, are you the sort of person who always eats dessert? Do you feel like a meal is not complete unless you eat something sweet at the end of it? Ask yourself why! Did your Mom provide dessert with every meal? Do you have happy memories of family gatherings topped with apple pie and homemade ice cream? Did you grow up eating Banquet TV dinners with the little dessert in the corner? (Sidenote: some nutritionists do recommend dessert if you are accustomed to it, as it signals the brain that your meal is over, but they suggest something like a piece of fruit or a small piece of chocolate).

Maybe you HATE exercise. Ask yourself why! Did you come from a sedentary background? Does your family exercise? Your spouse? Or were you an athlete and you got hurt? Maybe you were made fun of as a teenager when doing calisthenics or you were terrible at sports in p.e. Or maybe (this one might hurt) you are lazy! Maybe you are just plain slothful (I was) and you need to start moving your bootie.

Why do you hate vegetables?
Why do you drive through McDonald’s on your way to work?
Why do you watch so much TV?
Why do you read while you are eating?
Why do you eat when you are depressed?
Why do you dress the way you do?
Why do you eat in your car? Or in secret?

Ask yourself these questions. And any other questions you can think of in regards to your behavior. In fact, write them down in a notebook and try to figure out the answers. It will be worth the time and effort.

Metacognition: it is a powerful thing. Because once you ask yourself why, once you become aware of the way you think about something, you can start to change it. And that is what we are working towards, here, isn’t it? Real change.

*By the way, to see some more versions of this “fable”, check out its Snopes page.