Do you watch that show Extreme Makeover Home Edition? We watch it. My favorite part is the reveal at the end; hubby likes the demolition best. I enjoy the show, but I also think that, sometimes, those beautiful, expensive, made-over homes get completely trashed within a year after the family takes possession of them. There are two main categories of people who get chosen for this show, from my perspective. One type is the hard-working responsible family who takes care of their possessions, works hard, but just has a blow (or a series of blows) of bad luck that puts them into a position where they need help. Cancer, a sudden death, a fire, etc. Then you have the other kind: people who are already takers; used to living off of the government, or off other people, people who cry bad luck but actually are in their circumstances because of poor choices, laziness, ignorance, or even stupidity.
Sidenote: ignorance is not the same thing as stupidity. Ignorance is a lack of knowledge or education, and sometimes people just don’t know how to change. Stupidity on the otherhand, is willful ignorance.
Sometimes you can tell by looking at the family home before the demo which type they are. (I don’t care how poor you are, you don’t have to have piles of laundry in every corner or dirty dishes on every surface. And don’t tell me these people get surprised, either. There is no way the families don’t know they have been chosen. Permits have to be acquired, vacation time needs to be requested, kids are sometimes taken out of school; they know they were picked!)
Anyhow, call me a skeptic, but I think some of the people who get these $500,000 homes end up living just the way they were living before the show, and I’ll bet if you visited some of them, you would see piles of dirty laundry in front of the Stainless Steel commercial refrigerator, and find that many of the shiny new possessions have been pawned.
Change is hard. Getting a new house and having your debts paid doesn’t necessarily fix everything. As Sir Richard Francis Burton said, “Broke is a temporary condition, poor is a state of mind.” To completely change how you live takes time, and a lot of effort, and sacrifice. That’s why the majority of lottery winners squander all of their winnings within a few years. Google it, it's true.
I submit that the same is true for weight loss.
I knew on the day that I started this blog that there would come a day (or more than one) when I would have to say “I blew it, I messed up, I fell off the wagon.” Because I know about the 5 Secrets; I know about Permission to Fail (Secret #5); I know that it is unrealistic to think I can completely change my lifestyle, habits, etc. instantly and without error. Still, I absolutely hate that I am struggling right now, I hate that I gained back some of my weight. I finally got the scale moving in the right direction again, but it’s been difficult. I WANT it all to be easy, for my mindset to stay indefinitely in the place it was back when I was “going and blowing.” (Where does that phrase come from, anyway – it doesn’t make any sense!) I want the weight loss, the diet control, the exercise, to be effortless; and I just get miffed sometimes that it can’t be.
I remember I read in a book years ago (It might have been Run, Baby, Run) about a drug addict who prayed that he would be freed from drug addiction, and - boom! – just like that, he was not addicted anymore. That’s the way I always wanted it to be for me, you know, with the whole weight/food/exercise thing:
Boom! Abracadabra! Shazam!
One day I am drooling for chocolate, and the next day celery is my favorite snack. On a Monday I am trimming the fat off of my steak so that I can eat it first!, and on Tuesday I am "oh so very full" after a just a small salad with vinaigrette. Wouldn’t that be nice?
~~~ pause for daydreaming about how nice that would be ~~~
It would be nice, but the thing is – unfortunately - for 99% of us – it just ain’t gonna happen that way. Change is hard. It takes time. You gotta climb back on that wagon over and over. You may think that what you want is that radical “demo” or the cool “reveal,” but what you really want, if you think about it, is for the house to still be standing one, five, ten years down the line. So forget about the Abracadabra, and put on your running shoes!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Fertility Meds Stink
If I wasn’t determined to keep this blog PG I would have used a different descriptor in the title of this entry! One that starts with S, ends with s, and rhymes with ducks! I know this topic may not directly apply to my blog focus, but I just have to share!
My husband and I just had another disappointing month in our fertility quest, and this time we really thought we had it: I was 4 days “late,” and had a bunch of possible early pregnancy symptoms. I was planning the nursery in my head already. You can imagine what an incredible disappointment it was to get the call on Monday saying my test was negative. Not a little negative, either; profoundly negative.
The thing is, I am not sure how many more times I can put my body, mind and emotions through this wringer again. This month, everything was perfect – my labs, my womb, my eggs, the swimmers – all indicated perfect conditions for conception. But no dice. And I tell ya, it stinks.
The first round of fertility drugs we tried was good ol’ Clomid. Clomid is a pill, and widely prescribed by General Practitioners, with no monitoring by blood or ultrasound. For some people, Clomid works. In fact for some people, it results in multiples. Not in my case. I was under monitoring, and it was quickly evident that Clomid was not going to work for me. I guess I am glad I didn’t waste months and months taking Clomid before moving on to another medication. (That’s the advantage of using a fertility specialist, although it also means our cost is higher.) Since I was being monitored, the MD was able to tell that the drug was not stimulating my system in any way that would lead to increased fertility. But Clomid does have lovely side effects such as bloating, hot flashes, nausea, and pelvic pain, all of which I was unlucky enough to experience.
So since the Clomid failed, my MD upped the ante and put me on injectibles. Now like most people, I am underfond of needles, but I spoke to myself in a firm voice and reminded myself that needles to the booty were nothing compared with labor and delivery. I sucked it up. And I received a shot a day (1.5 inch needle) for 9 days. My mom gave me the shots, and they actually weren’t too bad, although she would describe my sucking up as whining and being a huge baby! Of course, Repronex (the new drug) has the same lovely side effects as Clomid, plus weight gain. Grrr. After working hard to lose weight for a year, I am given an additional obstacle to wrestle with. Anyway, the doc kept increasing the dose, because my body was a little slow to respond. That month (August) I had one really promising follicle, and a few maybes, but I knew before we reached the pg test that we had not been successful. That was very sad, but after all it was the first cycle with this drug, so we decided to roll again.
Sidenote: These medications are very, very expensive. I will not discuss exactly how much of our limited income we are pouring into this endeavor, but suffice it to say that a big factor in deciding how much longer we are going to try is simple finances!
The doc decided we needed to up the ante yet again, so this time she increased my dose a lot, and she told me that I could no longer have the luxury of receiving the shots in my very ample behind. Apparently the medication was not getting deep enough into the muscle, so the new POA was to take the shots in my THIGHS. And not once a day, no, now I had to take them twice a day. So to the previous list of side effects let us attach this small addition: PAIN!!!!!!
Shots in the thigh (with a 1½ inch needle) HURT! And even on the occasions when it luckily hit the right spot, and wasn’t too bad, then the muscle hurts afterwards. And 24 hours later, you give the same leg, same muscle, another shot. This goes on for 9 days, people. There was one particular shot (it was only the 2nd one of the series) that gave me a Charlie horse in that muscle for 2 days. I am not exaggerating, it was hard to walk. I sat in my office at work with an ice pack on it and avoided getting out of my chair at all costs. None of the others were quite that bad (I think we hit a nerve on that particular one), but my entire thigh muscles were sore for 2 weeks.
The only consolation to this suffering was the news that the meds seemed to be working, and this month I had 5 promising follicles, which means I should be pregnant, right? Well, I’m not, and the doc has already told me that if we roll again she is upping my dose, again, so the twice-a-day-in-the-thighs will recur, with a thicker solution.
Which is why I say fertility meds stink. I have regained 12 of my hard-lost 67 pounds, and although I don’t blame the meds entirely (nor the stress this process creates, although it is surely contributory), they certainly aren’t helping. I do think we will try at least 1 more time before pursuing the adoption path, but we are going to take a couple of months off first, and try to recover a bit (financially, emotionally, physically). I just hope I am not one of those folks who fails, fails, fails, then ends up with Quintuplets! Talk about pain!
My husband and I just had another disappointing month in our fertility quest, and this time we really thought we had it: I was 4 days “late,” and had a bunch of possible early pregnancy symptoms. I was planning the nursery in my head already. You can imagine what an incredible disappointment it was to get the call on Monday saying my test was negative. Not a little negative, either; profoundly negative.
The thing is, I am not sure how many more times I can put my body, mind and emotions through this wringer again. This month, everything was perfect – my labs, my womb, my eggs, the swimmers – all indicated perfect conditions for conception. But no dice. And I tell ya, it stinks.
The first round of fertility drugs we tried was good ol’ Clomid. Clomid is a pill, and widely prescribed by General Practitioners, with no monitoring by blood or ultrasound. For some people, Clomid works. In fact for some people, it results in multiples. Not in my case. I was under monitoring, and it was quickly evident that Clomid was not going to work for me. I guess I am glad I didn’t waste months and months taking Clomid before moving on to another medication. (That’s the advantage of using a fertility specialist, although it also means our cost is higher.) Since I was being monitored, the MD was able to tell that the drug was not stimulating my system in any way that would lead to increased fertility. But Clomid does have lovely side effects such as bloating, hot flashes, nausea, and pelvic pain, all of which I was unlucky enough to experience.
So since the Clomid failed, my MD upped the ante and put me on injectibles. Now like most people, I am underfond of needles, but I spoke to myself in a firm voice and reminded myself that needles to the booty were nothing compared with labor and delivery. I sucked it up. And I received a shot a day (1.5 inch needle) for 9 days. My mom gave me the shots, and they actually weren’t too bad, although she would describe my sucking up as whining and being a huge baby! Of course, Repronex (the new drug) has the same lovely side effects as Clomid, plus weight gain. Grrr. After working hard to lose weight for a year, I am given an additional obstacle to wrestle with. Anyway, the doc kept increasing the dose, because my body was a little slow to respond. That month (August) I had one really promising follicle, and a few maybes, but I knew before we reached the pg test that we had not been successful. That was very sad, but after all it was the first cycle with this drug, so we decided to roll again.
Sidenote: These medications are very, very expensive. I will not discuss exactly how much of our limited income we are pouring into this endeavor, but suffice it to say that a big factor in deciding how much longer we are going to try is simple finances!
The doc decided we needed to up the ante yet again, so this time she increased my dose a lot, and she told me that I could no longer have the luxury of receiving the shots in my very ample behind. Apparently the medication was not getting deep enough into the muscle, so the new POA was to take the shots in my THIGHS. And not once a day, no, now I had to take them twice a day. So to the previous list of side effects let us attach this small addition: PAIN!!!!!!
Shots in the thigh (with a 1½ inch needle) HURT! And even on the occasions when it luckily hit the right spot, and wasn’t too bad, then the muscle hurts afterwards. And 24 hours later, you give the same leg, same muscle, another shot. This goes on for 9 days, people. There was one particular shot (it was only the 2nd one of the series) that gave me a Charlie horse in that muscle for 2 days. I am not exaggerating, it was hard to walk. I sat in my office at work with an ice pack on it and avoided getting out of my chair at all costs. None of the others were quite that bad (I think we hit a nerve on that particular one), but my entire thigh muscles were sore for 2 weeks.
The only consolation to this suffering was the news that the meds seemed to be working, and this month I had 5 promising follicles, which means I should be pregnant, right? Well, I’m not, and the doc has already told me that if we roll again she is upping my dose, again, so the twice-a-day-in-the-thighs will recur, with a thicker solution.
Which is why I say fertility meds stink. I have regained 12 of my hard-lost 67 pounds, and although I don’t blame the meds entirely (nor the stress this process creates, although it is surely contributory), they certainly aren’t helping. I do think we will try at least 1 more time before pursuing the adoption path, but we are going to take a couple of months off first, and try to recover a bit (financially, emotionally, physically). I just hope I am not one of those folks who fails, fails, fails, then ends up with Quintuplets! Talk about pain!
Monday, October 13, 2008
The 5 Secrets of the 5%
When you belong to a community like thedailyplate.com, you become the recipient of all sorts of information – most of it pretty good information – about dieting, exercise, eating, etc. The people in my groups are always sharing websites and articles with each other. Of all of the articles and websites I have read since I began this journey, the most helpful to me was The 5 Secrets of the 5%.
The premise of the article is that only 5% of people who try to lose weight are both successful and able to keep the weight off long-term. I don’t know how scientifically accurate that statistic is – it certainly feels accurate for those of us trying to lose weight and keep it off! But that is another topic. The point is, those who do lose weight and keep it off long term have certain things in common – certain characteristics or behaviors that enable them to succeed. The article summarizes those 5 “secrets.” Now, you can read the article for yourself, and I encourage you to do so, but I can summarize it as the 5 P’s:
Publicity – If you want to succeed at this, you cannot do it by yourself. Join a group, recruit supporters, write down your goals and share them with people you know & trust. Make an accountability partner, or an exercise buddy. Join a website where others are walking the same path you are.
Pay Attention – You need to track what you are doing – either on paper, on a website, with a tape recorder – something! It is so incredibly easy to be unaware of your own eating choices. Tracking or journaling keeps you aware of what you are doing, which helps keep you from sliding into old habits.
Positive Attitude – Not to be a Pollyanna, but you are not going to succeed if you have a fatalistic, Eeyore attitude about this. If you tend to be a pessimist, you need to find some supporters who are optimists. You need to tell yourself positive messages daily – write notes to yourself, send yourself ecards – whatever works to keep a positive mindset.
Patience – You didn’t put on this weight, or get out of shape, in 30 days; and it is not going to take 30 days to get back to healthy. Concentrate on small changes, baby steps…don’t try to change everything at once because you will fail and get discouraged. Reader’s Digest did a campaign a couple of years ago called “Change One Thing.” The idea was you just change one thing at a time, and one you get comfortable with that change, change something else. Not a bad strategy.
Permission to Fail – If you think you are going to do this without making any mistakes, well, think again. Let me break it to you now – you ARE going to fail. You are going to blow it, and the only thing that matters is whether or not you get back up after you do. The only difference between success and failure is how many times you get back up. So forgive yourself, and get back on track.
Think about those you know (yourself included) who have tried to lose weight and failed. It is easy to pinpoint which of these 5 things they (you) missed along the way. I think (and this is my personal opinion only) that practicing 3 or even 4 of the 5 things is not enough. You have to consistently apply all 5 at the same time to have any ongoing success. Start today, and consciously apply the 5 P’s. You might be surprised at your own success.
The premise of the article is that only 5% of people who try to lose weight are both successful and able to keep the weight off long-term. I don’t know how scientifically accurate that statistic is – it certainly feels accurate for those of us trying to lose weight and keep it off! But that is another topic. The point is, those who do lose weight and keep it off long term have certain things in common – certain characteristics or behaviors that enable them to succeed. The article summarizes those 5 “secrets.” Now, you can read the article for yourself, and I encourage you to do so, but I can summarize it as the 5 P’s:
Publicity – If you want to succeed at this, you cannot do it by yourself. Join a group, recruit supporters, write down your goals and share them with people you know & trust. Make an accountability partner, or an exercise buddy. Join a website where others are walking the same path you are.
Pay Attention – You need to track what you are doing – either on paper, on a website, with a tape recorder – something! It is so incredibly easy to be unaware of your own eating choices. Tracking or journaling keeps you aware of what you are doing, which helps keep you from sliding into old habits.
Positive Attitude – Not to be a Pollyanna, but you are not going to succeed if you have a fatalistic, Eeyore attitude about this. If you tend to be a pessimist, you need to find some supporters who are optimists. You need to tell yourself positive messages daily – write notes to yourself, send yourself ecards – whatever works to keep a positive mindset.
Patience – You didn’t put on this weight, or get out of shape, in 30 days; and it is not going to take 30 days to get back to healthy. Concentrate on small changes, baby steps…don’t try to change everything at once because you will fail and get discouraged. Reader’s Digest did a campaign a couple of years ago called “Change One Thing.” The idea was you just change one thing at a time, and one you get comfortable with that change, change something else. Not a bad strategy.
Permission to Fail – If you think you are going to do this without making any mistakes, well, think again. Let me break it to you now – you ARE going to fail. You are going to blow it, and the only thing that matters is whether or not you get back up after you do. The only difference between success and failure is how many times you get back up. So forgive yourself, and get back on track.
Think about those you know (yourself included) who have tried to lose weight and failed. It is easy to pinpoint which of these 5 things they (you) missed along the way. I think (and this is my personal opinion only) that practicing 3 or even 4 of the 5 things is not enough. You have to consistently apply all 5 at the same time to have any ongoing success. Start today, and consciously apply the 5 P’s. You might be surprised at your own success.
Friday, October 3, 2008
4 Month Blog Break
Wow – they say “time flies when you are having fun.” Well, I say it flies whether or not you are having fun! It has been 4 months since I last published a blog post, but it feels much shorter. I stopped blogging at the advent of summer, intending to take a quick break, but the break stretched out just a bit. Several reasons, really – for one thing, my husband and I have ramped up the fertility quest and I have been on a variety of medications that make me feel like I have a mild case of the flu mixed with a bad case of PMS. (Irritatingly, these meds also make one gain weight, but I will get to that in a minute). Secondly, it is a widely held myth that teachers spend their summers lounging around a pool eating bon bons. HA! The teachers I know either travel in the summer (those with money other than their teaching salary) or work their hiney off during the summer (if not for pay, then “to get things done”). I fall cleanly into the second category. I spent the first month (half – we only got 8 weeks this year) of the summer working summer school – something that pays $25/hour because they know that if they paid any less they would be unable to recruit teachers! Summer school is awful. But I wanted the money to fund the fertility effort, so I worked the first session. I never even considered working the second session, because doing so would have given me exactly 9 days of summer vacation – 3 days between Spring and Session I, 2 days between Session I and II, and 4 days between Session II and Fall. Ummmmm-no. Not gonna happen.
After summer school I entered the “get things done” phase. By happenstance both my mother and my mother-in-law decided at the same time to clean out their junk rooms, and I was drafted to help with each of those multi-day projects. Not that cleaning out other people’s junk is not enjoyable – it is easily more enjoyable than dealing with one’s own junk, because one is more objective. Plus you usually end up with some “treasures” that they want to throw away. My new “treasures” are in my junk room, by the way, which didn’t get touched this summer. Oh, well! We did squeeze in some fun things in July, like going to Schlitterbahn and seeing movies and such, nothing fancy, but I just wasn’t in the mood to sit in front of the PC. In the midst of all this we continued with the fertility meds, which made me draggy.
So July was a blur of cleaning and outdoor activities, and sleeping whenever I could, and on August 6th I had to go back to work. The first few weeks are always super-hectic for me, because I am a trainer, so I am very busy training all of my new staff on everything; plus training both old and new staff on whatever is new this year (which is a lot, this year). The first week was all “new to the district” folks, the second week was “my campus,” and the third week the kids arrive. The 4th and 5th weeks are full, too, because we have to get all of the electronic gradebooks set up, parent & teacher accounts for the website, open house, yada yada yada. August and May are the wackiest months of the year for me. We actually decided to take a break in August from QuestFertility, which I am glad of. We both needed the financial and emotional break, and I needed a physical break from the meds.
Then, week 4 of classes, just when I thought things were settling down, Hurricane Ike shows up. We had already had one close call this season with Gustav, but Ike turned out to be nothing like a close call – he came right into us and delivered the worst hurricane to our area since the 60’s. (I was here for hurricane Alicia in 1983 – she was a bit stronger, but she was small and it ended quickly.) Ike was a behemoth. We had planned to stay and hunker through it, after all our house is 40 feet above sea level and the area has never flooded since the neighborhood was built, but we woke up Thursday morning to dire mandatory evacuation orders, and on Friday we fled to Austin before it hit, riding on the voices of panicky reporters. My parents and my in-laws also evac’d to
Since we returned home (the Sunday after the storm), we have been mostly preoccupied with clean up, insurance, and helping others who fared worse than us. We were without power 5 days, kids in our area were out of school 2 weeks, and this is my first week back to work.
So, haven’t had much time to blog, or much motivation to blog, especially since my blog’s topic is my battle against diabetes, and I have not been paying a lot of attention to that as of late. I gained 10 pounds this summer - ugh. Sure, I can place a small amount of blame on the meds, but I was also much less diligent about tracking my food and about my exercise. I think I do better when my days are structured, as they are during the academic year, than I do when things are loosey goosey. Plus my walking club (which walks around the interior of the building after school) was n/a for 2 months and it was ridiculously hot, so walking outside was miserable. Excuses, I know, but not invalid ones. Fortunately my sugars are still quite well-controlled, and I have managed to halt the gaining trend; gotten the car into idle, shall I say, rather than in reverse. Now I need to get it back into Drive. ;-)
- I do much much much better at my eating and my exercise when I am diligently tracking on thedailyplate.com
- That business about “if you do something for 30 days it is a permanent habit” is a load of bull-doody. I was a habitual exerciser for 8 months but managed to grind to a near stop this summer, and didn't even miss it. Diligence is a constant requirement, at least it is for me.
- Although I love blogging, and I have missed blogging, and I would probably even argue that blogging is good for me, it is not in my top 10 priorities. And that is ok. Not that I am planning to take that long a break again anytime in the near future. ;)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Planning for Stress
I have had a really, really stressful week. Anyone who works in the Education system will tell you that the last few weeks of school are incredibly stressful. And so, being that I work in public ed, things at work right now are stressful-with-a-capital-S. (In fact this is why I have hardly blogged at all this month, because May is crazy! And we have another week of school after this one!)
To compound things, my personal life has also been stressful-with-a-capital-S of late. I am not going to go into the whys and wherefores, because it would only be whining, and that is not the point of this post anyhow. But suffice it to say that today and yesterday I have been in as high a state of stress as I typically ever get, and after a pressure-cooker of a morning, I decided to leave the building during lunchtime, just for a change of scenery. Plus, I needed some cash because we have 3 teachers getting married this summer and 4 new babies coming and everyone is collecting gift money right now. So I got in my car and headed for the ATM.
The moment I got behind the wheel, I was struck with a tremendous craving for fat, salt, and sugar. I decided that what I needed - right that minute - was a big greasy double cheeseburger with extra mayo, and a large order of french fries, and a diet soda (fortunately, regular soda is not a weakness of mine). "And after that," I told myself smugly, "I am going to stop at the corner store and buy a bag of double-dipped chocolate covered peanuts for dessert!"
Now don't think for a moment that these thoughts were running through my head unchallenged. One does not embark on a mission to change one's lifestyle without ingraining thoughts in one's head to support said mission, and naturally my rational mind chimed in at once with all sorts of logical and rational reasons why I should not eat a 1000 calorie calorie lunch sprinkled with chocolate covered peanuts! But (and any of you who have dieted can attest to this), the rational voice sounded like this:
"You need to make the right choice, now, Susan, you have worked hard to lose those 60 pounds and the other 60 are not coming off on a diet of cheeseburgers and fries. Remember, it is about choices. You are in control here. You decide what you are going to eat."
and the irrational voice sounded like this:
"I WANT FRENCH FRIES! I NEED CHOCOLATE! I DESERVE IT! I FEEL LIKE CR*P AND THIS WILL FIX IT! AAAARRRGGGHHH!"
And while this debate was roaring in my head I was driving, ever nearer, to the fast food restaurant. And I could feel myself sliding. And I didn't care.
Has this ever happen to you before? I'll bet it has. And who usually wins? Well, the screamer does, of course, because when your emotions are in a high state, it is really hard to ignore the tantruming baby that is our inner child. It's the same reason that you are more likely to snap at your kids or give in to their whining if you are stressed out from work or the family finances. We are emotional creatures, us humans, some more than others, granted; but we are all emotional people, and many of us are emotional eaters. This is why it is really important that you plan ahead how you are going to respond when you are under stress, emotional, and attacked with a craving to eat something you shouldn't - because it is going to happen.
I have several self-reminding techniques that I use to help me in these situations. One technique I have (which works both at home and at work), is to go take a quick 5 - 10 minute walk. The exercise clears my head and has the added bonus of raising endorphins, which helps combat the emotional high tide. Another thing I do (at home) is go to my bathroom and read my mirror (see my March 4th post for the why). Sometimes I have to stand there a long time talking sense to myself. I have spoken with others who use techniques like drinking a big bottle of water, calling a friend for support, etc. It's good to have an arsenal of ideas handy.
There are two techniques that I used in the car today, and both of them are good ones that usually work. First of all, I turned on my radio to the Christian music station. A really good song was playing called "Voice of Truth," and since I know the song I started signing with it, and within a minute my mental state started to turn around. (I find that often if I turn on the radio or punch up my CD player, the right song for the moment will be on. I do not call this coincidence, I call this the Grace of God.) The second thing I did was hook my fingers under the waistband of my pants and tug a little. This a physical cue that works well for me, because it reminds me either that my pants are getting looser, or that I am in a smaller size pants than I used to be. Today I am wearing my black jeans which are actually a little bit loose, and when i tugged on them I said out loud, "If you eat that lunch these jeans are going to be snug all afternoon!"
About that time I reached the drive-in menu, and if I had reached it 2 minutes earlier I am quite sure that I would be writing this blog entry with my pants unsnapped, but fortunately I had regained my sanity by then, and I ordered one of those yummy salads with the grilled chicken on top, instead. It was not because my willpower came through, either, because willpower is no good at all when your stress level is through the roof. It was because I have methods in place to deal with these situations, and however silly they may seem, they work more often than they don't! Try it out - and maybe the next emotional storm that hits you won't capsize your dieting boat.
To compound things, my personal life has also been stressful-with-a-capital-S of late. I am not going to go into the whys and wherefores, because it would only be whining, and that is not the point of this post anyhow. But suffice it to say that today and yesterday I have been in as high a state of stress as I typically ever get, and after a pressure-cooker of a morning, I decided to leave the building during lunchtime, just for a change of scenery. Plus, I needed some cash because we have 3 teachers getting married this summer and 4 new babies coming and everyone is collecting gift money right now. So I got in my car and headed for the ATM.
The moment I got behind the wheel, I was struck with a tremendous craving for fat, salt, and sugar. I decided that what I needed - right that minute - was a big greasy double cheeseburger with extra mayo, and a large order of french fries, and a diet soda (fortunately, regular soda is not a weakness of mine). "And after that," I told myself smugly, "I am going to stop at the corner store and buy a bag of double-dipped chocolate covered peanuts for dessert!"
Now don't think for a moment that these thoughts were running through my head unchallenged. One does not embark on a mission to change one's lifestyle without ingraining thoughts in one's head to support said mission, and naturally my rational mind chimed in at once with all sorts of logical and rational reasons why I should not eat a 1000 calorie calorie lunch sprinkled with chocolate covered peanuts! But (and any of you who have dieted can attest to this), the rational voice sounded like this:
"You need to make the right choice, now, Susan, you have worked hard to lose those 60 pounds and the other 60 are not coming off on a diet of cheeseburgers and fries. Remember, it is about choices. You are in control here. You decide what you are going to eat."
and the irrational voice sounded like this:
"I WANT FRENCH FRIES! I NEED CHOCOLATE! I DESERVE IT! I FEEL LIKE CR*P AND THIS WILL FIX IT! AAAARRRGGGHHH!"
And while this debate was roaring in my head I was driving, ever nearer, to the fast food restaurant. And I could feel myself sliding. And I didn't care.
Has this ever happen to you before? I'll bet it has. And who usually wins? Well, the screamer does, of course, because when your emotions are in a high state, it is really hard to ignore the tantruming baby that is our inner child. It's the same reason that you are more likely to snap at your kids or give in to their whining if you are stressed out from work or the family finances. We are emotional creatures, us humans, some more than others, granted; but we are all emotional people, and many of us are emotional eaters. This is why it is really important that you plan ahead how you are going to respond when you are under stress, emotional, and attacked with a craving to eat something you shouldn't - because it is going to happen.
I have several self-reminding techniques that I use to help me in these situations. One technique I have (which works both at home and at work), is to go take a quick 5 - 10 minute walk. The exercise clears my head and has the added bonus of raising endorphins, which helps combat the emotional high tide. Another thing I do (at home) is go to my bathroom and read my mirror (see my March 4th post for the why). Sometimes I have to stand there a long time talking sense to myself. I have spoken with others who use techniques like drinking a big bottle of water, calling a friend for support, etc. It's good to have an arsenal of ideas handy.
There are two techniques that I used in the car today, and both of them are good ones that usually work. First of all, I turned on my radio to the Christian music station. A really good song was playing called "Voice of Truth," and since I know the song I started signing with it, and within a minute my mental state started to turn around. (I find that often if I turn on the radio or punch up my CD player, the right song for the moment will be on. I do not call this coincidence, I call this the Grace of God.) The second thing I did was hook my fingers under the waistband of my pants and tug a little. This a physical cue that works well for me, because it reminds me either that my pants are getting looser, or that I am in a smaller size pants than I used to be. Today I am wearing my black jeans which are actually a little bit loose, and when i tugged on them I said out loud, "If you eat that lunch these jeans are going to be snug all afternoon!"
About that time I reached the drive-in menu, and if I had reached it 2 minutes earlier I am quite sure that I would be writing this blog entry with my pants unsnapped, but fortunately I had regained my sanity by then, and I ordered one of those yummy salads with the grilled chicken on top, instead. It was not because my willpower came through, either, because willpower is no good at all when your stress level is through the roof. It was because I have methods in place to deal with these situations, and however silly they may seem, they work more often than they don't! Try it out - and maybe the next emotional storm that hits you won't capsize your dieting boat.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
But I don’t have Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime to Exercise!
Now that we have dealt with the issue of hatred, let’s talk about the other top excuse for not exercising: time.
When I started my Walking club at work, I recruited hard. I sent emails, I printed posters and hung them inside the stalls of the bathrooms, I hyped it up! And still only a handful of people joined up. Another handful of people assured me (repeatedly) that “Oh, I want to join your walking club, BUT…” Almost always the “but” was followed by one version or another of “I don’t have time.”
Time. Probably the most valuable thing we have control over, and anyone can tell you, we have a lot less of it “these days.” Even though the earth still hurtles around the sun at the same speed it always has, and the planet still spins at the same rate (around 1000 mph, for the curious) ensuring us the same old 24-hour days, we have a lot less time than Laura Ingalls did when she was living in that little house. Right?
It seems oxymoronic, really, if you think about it. A modern washing machine does a load of clothes in about 15…20 minutes? Maybe it would take Laura all day to get the same amount of laundry as clean as the Whirlpool in your utility room does in less than an hour. But keep in mind that you have a heck of a lot more clothes than she did, and you usually only wear them one time before you wash them! The average prairie girl had one good Sunday dress and maybe 3 or 4 everyday dresses, and she wore them multiple times before washing them (no wonder they were always getting fussed at not to get dirty or tear their clothes!) If you owned only a week’s worth of outfits, laundry would not take very long, now, would it?
As we have created more and more “convenience” with Technology, we have also complicated our lives to match, negating any potentially saved time the device would supply. How many times have you wasted an entire afternoon waiting for a plumber, or a refrigerator repair man? Laura’s mom never had to do that. I spent 45 minutes on the phone last night with the Dish Network support person, because we are having signal problems with our satellite TV. I’ll bet Laura never had to waste an hour of her life on the phone with a jumprope support technician! The point is, we do have less time today, but it’s really (if you think about it) our own faults!
Anyhow, back to the topic of exercise. I still struggle with “finding time” to exercise. Should I do it in the morning – which means getting up earlier, which means going to bed earlier, which shaves time off my evening? Or do I do it after work – which means that window between work and sundown gets really small? How about the evening, just before bed? That’s tough too, because that is the time of day I least feel like doing it! No matter when I do it, I have to include time for warm-up, cool-down, stretching, and a shower afterwards, so count on an hour at least, and that does not include travel time if I am going somewhere to exercise, such as a gym.
It’s tough. I’ll admit it’s tough, but see, here is the thing (and I think if you will be honest with yourself, you will detect the ring of truth here): You find time in your life for everything that is important to you.
Disclaimer: we all go through seasons in our lives when, because of circumstances beyond our control, such as a catastrophic illness, accident, or crisis, our time is co-opted and the above statement is not true. But I submit that in general, we manage to find time for what matters to us.
Take me, for example. When I started to weave exercise into the fabric of my life, at first, I found that it was really hard to squeeze it in. Even though I was motivated to do it! Work ended at 4:00, so I would do my walking from 4:15 to 4:45, then travel home, be home around 5:00, shower and change, and start immediately on dinner & the day’s laundry. By the time that was finished the sun was dipping. After several weeks of this I started feeling the stress of “losing” 3 – 5 hours a week to exercise, and the LVIMH started whining again: “I don’t have tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime to exercise! I have too many other things to doooooooo!”
So I stopped exercising, right? Well, no, but a lot of people do exactly that! Instead, I decided to take a good look at where my time (the rest of it) was going, and I discovered something rather alarming! Ok, confession time, and this is embarrassing: When I really examined the situation, I discovered that I was watching about 4 hours of TV a day. Usually more on the weekends. 30 – 40 hours of TV a week! Almost as much time as I was working! ACK! Now granted, I got other things done while watching TV – folding laundry, paying bills, answering email (sheesh, that alone will eat up a few hours in no time, huh?), but still! Way too much “boob tube,” and it had crept up on me! So I sat down with my DVR remote (I love the freedom DVR gives you to watch when it is convenient, but I am telling you, I tend to watch a lot more TV now that I can record than I did before the DVR) and I deleted about half of my timers. It was a little painful, but really – but seriously, do I need to watch old reruns of Judge Judy and Pet Star? I cut my TV time in half, and suddenly guess what? I had a lot more time! Not only for exercise, but for other important stuff, too.
I know this may seem simplistic to some of you, and maybe TV is not your struggle, but take a good look at what you give your time to. Keep a journal for 2 weeks of what you do with your time and maybe you will be surprised. I was.
You find time for what is important to you. Make exercise important, and surprisingly, you will find that you DO have time to exercise, after all!
When I started my Walking club at work, I recruited hard. I sent emails, I printed posters and hung them inside the stalls of the bathrooms, I hyped it up! And still only a handful of people joined up. Another handful of people assured me (repeatedly) that “Oh, I want to join your walking club, BUT…” Almost always the “but” was followed by one version or another of “I don’t have time.”
Time. Probably the most valuable thing we have control over, and anyone can tell you, we have a lot less of it “these days.” Even though the earth still hurtles around the sun at the same speed it always has, and the planet still spins at the same rate (around 1000 mph, for the curious) ensuring us the same old 24-hour days, we have a lot less time than Laura Ingalls did when she was living in that little house. Right?
It seems oxymoronic, really, if you think about it. A modern washing machine does a load of clothes in about 15…20 minutes? Maybe it would take Laura all day to get the same amount of laundry as clean as the Whirlpool in your utility room does in less than an hour. But keep in mind that you have a heck of a lot more clothes than she did, and you usually only wear them one time before you wash them! The average prairie girl had one good Sunday dress and maybe 3 or 4 everyday dresses, and she wore them multiple times before washing them (no wonder they were always getting fussed at not to get dirty or tear their clothes!) If you owned only a week’s worth of outfits, laundry would not take very long, now, would it?
As we have created more and more “convenience” with Technology, we have also complicated our lives to match, negating any potentially saved time the device would supply. How many times have you wasted an entire afternoon waiting for a plumber, or a refrigerator repair man? Laura’s mom never had to do that. I spent 45 minutes on the phone last night with the Dish Network support person, because we are having signal problems with our satellite TV. I’ll bet Laura never had to waste an hour of her life on the phone with a jumprope support technician! The point is, we do have less time today, but it’s really (if you think about it) our own faults!
Anyhow, back to the topic of exercise. I still struggle with “finding time” to exercise. Should I do it in the morning – which means getting up earlier, which means going to bed earlier, which shaves time off my evening? Or do I do it after work – which means that window between work and sundown gets really small? How about the evening, just before bed? That’s tough too, because that is the time of day I least feel like doing it! No matter when I do it, I have to include time for warm-up, cool-down, stretching, and a shower afterwards, so count on an hour at least, and that does not include travel time if I am going somewhere to exercise, such as a gym.
It’s tough. I’ll admit it’s tough, but see, here is the thing (and I think if you will be honest with yourself, you will detect the ring of truth here): You find time in your life for everything that is important to you.
Disclaimer: we all go through seasons in our lives when, because of circumstances beyond our control, such as a catastrophic illness, accident, or crisis, our time is co-opted and the above statement is not true. But I submit that in general, we manage to find time for what matters to us.
Take me, for example. When I started to weave exercise into the fabric of my life, at first, I found that it was really hard to squeeze it in. Even though I was motivated to do it! Work ended at 4:00, so I would do my walking from 4:15 to 4:45, then travel home, be home around 5:00, shower and change, and start immediately on dinner & the day’s laundry. By the time that was finished the sun was dipping. After several weeks of this I started feeling the stress of “losing” 3 – 5 hours a week to exercise, and the LVIMH started whining again: “I don’t have tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime to exercise! I have too many other things to doooooooo!”
So I stopped exercising, right? Well, no, but a lot of people do exactly that! Instead, I decided to take a good look at where my time (the rest of it) was going, and I discovered something rather alarming! Ok, confession time, and this is embarrassing: When I really examined the situation, I discovered that I was watching about 4 hours of TV a day. Usually more on the weekends. 30 – 40 hours of TV a week! Almost as much time as I was working! ACK! Now granted, I got other things done while watching TV – folding laundry, paying bills, answering email (sheesh, that alone will eat up a few hours in no time, huh?), but still! Way too much “boob tube,” and it had crept up on me! So I sat down with my DVR remote (I love the freedom DVR gives you to watch when it is convenient, but I am telling you, I tend to watch a lot more TV now that I can record than I did before the DVR) and I deleted about half of my timers. It was a little painful, but really – but seriously, do I need to watch old reruns of Judge Judy and Pet Star? I cut my TV time in half, and suddenly guess what? I had a lot more time! Not only for exercise, but for other important stuff, too.
I know this may seem simplistic to some of you, and maybe TV is not your struggle, but take a good look at what you give your time to. Keep a journal for 2 weeks of what you do with your time and maybe you will be surprised. I was.
You find time for what is important to you. Make exercise important, and surprisingly, you will find that you DO have time to exercise, after all!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Learning to Like Exercise, part 2
About the same time I started my walking club, I discovered DDR.
DDR, for those of you older than 20, is Dance, Dance Revolution, and fundamentally it is a video game where you dance. Go to YouTube and put DDR in the search engine to see it in action.
Stop laughing, because I know that you know where this is going.
I first saw people doing DDR at an arcade and it looked like fun, but there was no way on God’s green earth I was going to get up there and jiggle my fat rump in front of a room full of teenagers. No way. I wanted to try it, so badly, but I simply never had an opportunity where I would not be performing in front of others. Then one day I was in Fry’s and I saw a kid doing DDR. Turns out she was doing it on a Playstation (Playstation 2, I think). Intrigued, I looked online that night to see if they made a Playstation 1 version, since that is the only gaming console we own, and what do you know? They not only made it for Playstation 1, it was also cheap, because as you probably know, Playstation 1 is “totally old and outdated, man!” I found a used copy of the game and a cheap DDR mat, both on Amazon, and I was in business.
The thing about DDR is: it’s really fun! Kind of like aerobics was fun when I was a freshman in college in the 80’s, and young, and in pretty good shape, but even more so because no one is watching me jiggle. My husband has been known to point and laugh from time to time, but I just say something sweetly sarcastic like, “At least I am getting some exercise. Don’t you want me to be healthy and lose weight, daaarling?” which usually shuts him up.
When I am doing DDR (basic level, because I am in it for the exercise, not for the dance skills) I get really sweaty, and I don’t even mind! Plus, it goes fast – 30 minutes is usually my goal, and it’s not tedious. Sometimes I wish I could have different music (I never was a clubber), and the graphics are seriously garish and annoying (avoid if you are epileptic!), but on the whole I really like it; which surprises me, because, after all, I hate exercise, right? At least, that’s what LVIMH says. Except, oh yeah, she’s a liar!
In addition to burning calories, DDR is great for balance and coordination, rhythm, and mood elevation. You really should try it. I think my total investment (since I have a PS1) was about $25.
Here’s another interesting tidbit about DDR: They have actually developed a version which is being marketed to schools! Check it out! Some of the schools in my district have already purchased these, and as you might expect, the kids LOVE IT! They are using it primarily for math right now, although you can use it for any subject. It comes with some “stock” sets of questions, but it is programmable by the teacher, so you can put in questions with single digit answers, or, for older kids, multiple digit answers (they have to step on more than one pad in succession). This is so cutting edge that when the representative came out to demo it to us, he begged for our suggestions since they are still developing the product and improving it.
This is just one of several new technologies being marketed to parents and schools that teach kids while getting them moving. Nintendo is already marketing the Wii to schools as a way to get kids interested in being more active, and check out the Wii Fit – wow! Even little kids can be active while learning – one example is the Fisher Price Smart Cycle, targeted at the under-5 set and priced at just about $100. The education world has known about kinesthetic learning for years, so that’s part of the pull, but even more compelling is the rising obesity rate among kids.
Hopefully we are seeing a trend away from the couch-potato culture, towards more active kids (and adults)! Technology had a big role in making us fat, it’s only right that they participate in making us thin again!
DDR, for those of you older than 20, is Dance, Dance Revolution, and fundamentally it is a video game where you dance. Go to YouTube and put DDR in the search engine to see it in action.
Stop laughing, because I know that you know where this is going.
I first saw people doing DDR at an arcade and it looked like fun, but there was no way on God’s green earth I was going to get up there and jiggle my fat rump in front of a room full of teenagers. No way. I wanted to try it, so badly, but I simply never had an opportunity where I would not be performing in front of others. Then one day I was in Fry’s and I saw a kid doing DDR. Turns out she was doing it on a Playstation (Playstation 2, I think). Intrigued, I looked online that night to see if they made a Playstation 1 version, since that is the only gaming console we own, and what do you know? They not only made it for Playstation 1, it was also cheap, because as you probably know, Playstation 1 is “totally old and outdated, man!” I found a used copy of the game and a cheap DDR mat, both on Amazon, and I was in business.
The thing about DDR is: it’s really fun! Kind of like aerobics was fun when I was a freshman in college in the 80’s, and young, and in pretty good shape, but even more so because no one is watching me jiggle. My husband has been known to point and laugh from time to time, but I just say something sweetly sarcastic like, “At least I am getting some exercise. Don’t you want me to be healthy and lose weight, daaarling?” which usually shuts him up.
When I am doing DDR (basic level, because I am in it for the exercise, not for the dance skills) I get really sweaty, and I don’t even mind! Plus, it goes fast – 30 minutes is usually my goal, and it’s not tedious. Sometimes I wish I could have different music (I never was a clubber), and the graphics are seriously garish and annoying (avoid if you are epileptic!), but on the whole I really like it; which surprises me, because, after all, I hate exercise, right? At least, that’s what LVIMH says. Except, oh yeah, she’s a liar!
In addition to burning calories, DDR is great for balance and coordination, rhythm, and mood elevation. You really should try it. I think my total investment (since I have a PS1) was about $25.
Here’s another interesting tidbit about DDR: They have actually developed a version which is being marketed to schools! Check it out! Some of the schools in my district have already purchased these, and as you might expect, the kids LOVE IT! They are using it primarily for math right now, although you can use it for any subject. It comes with some “stock” sets of questions, but it is programmable by the teacher, so you can put in questions with single digit answers, or, for older kids, multiple digit answers (they have to step on more than one pad in succession). This is so cutting edge that when the representative came out to demo it to us, he begged for our suggestions since they are still developing the product and improving it.
This is just one of several new technologies being marketed to parents and schools that teach kids while getting them moving. Nintendo is already marketing the Wii to schools as a way to get kids interested in being more active, and check out the Wii Fit – wow! Even little kids can be active while learning – one example is the Fisher Price Smart Cycle, targeted at the under-5 set and priced at just about $100. The education world has known about kinesthetic learning for years, so that’s part of the pull, but even more compelling is the rising obesity rate among kids.
Hopefully we are seeing a trend away from the couch-potato culture, towards more active kids (and adults)! Technology had a big role in making us fat, it’s only right that they participate in making us thin again!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Learning to Like Exercise
So once I determined that I was going to learn to love exercise, I needed to find out what sorts of exercise I could tolerate. Because there are some kinds of exercise that I just can’t, or won’t do right now. For example:
Swimming – I really love swimming, but there is the whole chlorine issue. I have longish blondish fine-stranded hair, and chlorine is really hard on it. If I do swim, I need a double shampoo and a good conditioner afterwards, or my hair starts to rebel. Very time consuming if you are trying to swim 3 - 5 times a week for exercise! Also there is no place near me where I can swim for free.
Running – Are you kidding me? If I could make it more than 1/2 a block, I would knock myself out cold (it’ll come to you, give it a second), although a friend recently told me that wearing two bras helps a lot. Sometimes I tell myself that I will be able to run one day. I hope it is so, but for now it’s just not going to happen.
The Gym – I lump all of this together (weights at the gym, machines at the gym, classes at the gym) because in a nutshell the gym costs money. And at this stage in our lives, my husband and I do not have the money to invest in gym membership. In the past when we (or I) have joined gyms, we would go for awhile, then stop going, which is effectively throwing our money down the drain. My thought is, if I won’t exercise for free, what makes me think I will exercise when I am paying to do so?
Curves – counts in the gym category above, but add to Curves that it is a “social workout” and I do NOT like to exercise socially. The last thing I want when I am sweating and jiggling is to watch and be watched by, talk and be talked to by other people, usually complete strangers!
Competitive Sports – HA! I stink at competitive sports. I don’t play them, I don’t even watch them! No thank you!
And so on…
So I decided to start with walking. Walking is free, easy, and you can do it anywhere. I started a walking club at my workplace and started walking after work 3 times a week for 30 minutes. Sometimes other would walk with me, but most of the time I walked by myself. And I was ok with that, although walking with someone else seems to make it go faster. I downloaded some music of appropriate pace (here’s one good place to do that), and logged how long and how far I walked each day. A great way to hold yourself accountable is to place yourself in a position of responsibility. In my case, I created contests at work, and since I was the one “in charge” of the walking club, I had to keep it up myself!
When the weather was nice (here in Texas it is usually too hot, too humid, or raining), I would walk around my neighborhood. MapMyRun.com proved really helpful for keeping track of how far I was going and how fast I was walking.
And the pounds started to fall off. Now, keep in mind, I was also tracking my food and watching my diet, but the walking really made a difference. And I didn’t hate it! And some days, yes, I know this is shocking…some days I actually enjoyed it!
I also bought a bicycle, but it has turned out I don’t use it as much as I thought I would. I don’t feel like I am getting as much benefit from it, and the tires seem to run out of air often. Not sure if that is a reflection on the quality of the tires or on my excessive girth!
Now that it has started getting hotter, I do a lot of my walking indoors, with Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds DVDs. If you can handle a little cheesiness, I highly recommend these DVD’s. They start off really easy (which I needed!) and they include some upper body muscle work (optional) which is something you normally don’t get from just walking around the neighborhood. I own several of these DVD’s now, and I really love them.
Sooooooooo, If you are like me, and the little voice in your head insists that you hate exercise, walking is a great place to begin. Walking is incredibly good for you, low-impact, and costs nothing other than time. Even 15 minutes a day makes a difference!
p.s. (here are a couple of excellent articles on the benefits of walking: One Two )
Swimming – I really love swimming, but there is the whole chlorine issue. I have longish blondish fine-stranded hair, and chlorine is really hard on it. If I do swim, I need a double shampoo and a good conditioner afterwards, or my hair starts to rebel. Very time consuming if you are trying to swim 3 - 5 times a week for exercise! Also there is no place near me where I can swim for free.
Running – Are you kidding me? If I could make it more than 1/2 a block, I would knock myself out cold (it’ll come to you, give it a second), although a friend recently told me that wearing two bras helps a lot. Sometimes I tell myself that I will be able to run one day. I hope it is so, but for now it’s just not going to happen.
The Gym – I lump all of this together (weights at the gym, machines at the gym, classes at the gym) because in a nutshell the gym costs money. And at this stage in our lives, my husband and I do not have the money to invest in gym membership. In the past when we (or I) have joined gyms, we would go for awhile, then stop going, which is effectively throwing our money down the drain. My thought is, if I won’t exercise for free, what makes me think I will exercise when I am paying to do so?
Curves – counts in the gym category above, but add to Curves that it is a “social workout” and I do NOT like to exercise socially. The last thing I want when I am sweating and jiggling is to watch and be watched by, talk and be talked to by other people, usually complete strangers!
Competitive Sports – HA! I stink at competitive sports. I don’t play them, I don’t even watch them! No thank you!
And so on…
So I decided to start with walking. Walking is free, easy, and you can do it anywhere. I started a walking club at my workplace and started walking after work 3 times a week for 30 minutes. Sometimes other would walk with me, but most of the time I walked by myself. And I was ok with that, although walking with someone else seems to make it go faster. I downloaded some music of appropriate pace (here’s one good place to do that), and logged how long and how far I walked each day. A great way to hold yourself accountable is to place yourself in a position of responsibility. In my case, I created contests at work, and since I was the one “in charge” of the walking club, I had to keep it up myself!
When the weather was nice (here in Texas it is usually too hot, too humid, or raining), I would walk around my neighborhood. MapMyRun.com proved really helpful for keeping track of how far I was going and how fast I was walking.
And the pounds started to fall off. Now, keep in mind, I was also tracking my food and watching my diet, but the walking really made a difference. And I didn’t hate it! And some days, yes, I know this is shocking…some days I actually enjoyed it!
I also bought a bicycle, but it has turned out I don’t use it as much as I thought I would. I don’t feel like I am getting as much benefit from it, and the tires seem to run out of air often. Not sure if that is a reflection on the quality of the tires or on my excessive girth!
Now that it has started getting hotter, I do a lot of my walking indoors, with Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds DVDs. If you can handle a little cheesiness, I highly recommend these DVD’s. They start off really easy (which I needed!) and they include some upper body muscle work (optional) which is something you normally don’t get from just walking around the neighborhood. I own several of these DVD’s now, and I really love them.
Sooooooooo, If you are like me, and the little voice in your head insists that you hate exercise, walking is a great place to begin. Walking is incredibly good for you, low-impact, and costs nothing other than time. Even 15 minutes a day makes a difference!
p.s. (here are a couple of excellent articles on the benefits of walking: One Two )
Monday, April 28, 2008
But I Haaaaaaaaaaaaate Exercise! part 2
Last week I ran an informal poll of some of my friends at thedailyplate.com. I asked some of those who have a significant amount of weight to lose and/or who have lost a significant amount, for their thoughts and feelings about exercise. I wanted to know if my hate affair with exercise was normal. Here are some of the comments:
“I hate to exercise”
“…a little over a year ago I hated exercise. But I did it because I didn't want to be in pain anymore… I just started out going for 15-20 min walks. It was all I could really handle. Now I think I'm an exercise junkie.”
“The more I exercise, the more I like it. Once I've made it into a habit, the less I complain about it and the more motivated I am.”
“I love to exercise.”
“It's one of those necessary evils in the weight loss process.”
“I don't love or hate exercise. It's sometimes hard for me to get going, but once I do, I feel really good. I always feel great afterwards too.”
“I love to exercise! …When I was heavy as a teen I hated to exercise but once I started I learned how awesome it can make you feel.”
“I love to exercise, but I have trouble getting up to do it. It's hard for me to talk myself into going somewhere just to burn calories… I've always hated exercise for exercise's sake, and loved physical activity.”
“It is definitely a necessary evil, but I must say I love the way it makes me feel!”
“The more I do it the more I like it, and it’s definitely harder when you first start.”
The consensus (with a few exceptions) seems to be that even people who hate exercise, once they make it a habit, a regular routine, they begin to like it and many even grow to love it. In fact, I did another, general poll in the forum and over 70% of those polled said they love exercise! (Keep in mind this is a site primarily populated with people who are dealing with their weight.) Of course, there are exceptions, and I would expect that with any group of human beings, on any question! For the vast the majority, however, exercise is a positive force in their lives. Now, the truth is it may not be the exercise itself that they love. In many cases it seems to be the endorphins, how the exercise makes them feel afterwards, or even the results of the exercise on the body (more energy, more muscle, less fat, etc.) I also noticed that many times people were very active as kids, but became inactive as adults, which seems to indicate that an active childhood is no guarantor of an active adulthood. One of the most interesting things to come out of the conversation was that no matter how difficult it was to make oneself exercise, they were always glad, afterward, that they had done it. As one poster said, “I never, ever leave the gym thinking, "Gee, that was a bad idea. I feel like sh*t!"
As I said in my last post, my relationship with exercise has been fairly negative. Even during steady stretches of regular exercise, I never grew to love it. That "30 days make a habit" garbage simply doesn't work for me, seemingly! I thought maybe my endorphin machine was malfunctioning, and besides, LVIMH was always quick to remind me that I simply despised exercise.
Then one day I realized that LVIMH was – don’t be shocked now – lying to me! Yes, indeed. LVIMH does NOT always have my best interests at heart. In fact, I have discovered that LVIMH is lazy, self-indulgent, and has lied to me a lot! I think most of us tend to accept what we tell ourselves without questioning it. The thing is? We really should question it!
I remember I read a book back in high school called Telling Yourself the Truth. I thought it was a really good book, but I don’t think it sank in very well. We are talking to ourselves all of the time. “Self-talk,” the shrinks call it, and it is powerful stuff. More importantly, we can change what we say to ourselves, and by doing that, we can change our behavior. So I have started telling myself “I love exercise. I enjoy it.” even though it is not actually completely true -- yet. I would say that in regards to exercise, I have crawled out of the hate swamp and have reached the level of “It’s hard to make myself do it, but once I do it I am glad I did and it wasn’t so bad.” Furthermore, I firmly believe that if I continue to tell myself that I love exercise, I eventually will love exercise. Proverbs says that “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he,” which seems to indicate that our hearts and minds have a lot of power over who we are.
Wait a minute, though! If I tell myself “I love exercise,” isn’t that a lie? Aren’t I now lying to myself? Again? Just in a different way? Maybe. But the truth is, I have been lying to myself for years about exercise, and about a lot of things more significant than exercise. And “I love exercise” is perfectly capable of becoming the truth, because I am capable of changing – not just my behavior, not just my weight, but my eating habits, my exercise habits, and what I like or don’t like. Dr. Phil calls it “behaving your way to success.” In other words, decide how you want to be, and behave that way until it becomes who you are.
So given the choice of sitting on my internal high horse, nose in the air, proclaiming that this is who I am and if you don’t like it, tough tooties; or actually changing and growing and becoming a healthier, happier person? I’ll take the latter, thank you.
“I hate to exercise”
“…a little over a year ago I hated exercise. But I did it because I didn't want to be in pain anymore… I just started out going for 15-20 min walks. It was all I could really handle. Now I think I'm an exercise junkie.”
“The more I exercise, the more I like it. Once I've made it into a habit, the less I complain about it and the more motivated I am.”
“I love to exercise.”
“It's one of those necessary evils in the weight loss process.”
“I don't love or hate exercise. It's sometimes hard for me to get going, but once I do, I feel really good. I always feel great afterwards too.”
“I love to exercise! …When I was heavy as a teen I hated to exercise but once I started I learned how awesome it can make you feel.”
“I love to exercise, but I have trouble getting up to do it. It's hard for me to talk myself into going somewhere just to burn calories… I've always hated exercise for exercise's sake, and loved physical activity.”
“It is definitely a necessary evil, but I must say I love the way it makes me feel!”
“The more I do it the more I like it, and it’s definitely harder when you first start.”
The consensus (with a few exceptions) seems to be that even people who hate exercise, once they make it a habit, a regular routine, they begin to like it and many even grow to love it. In fact, I did another, general poll in the forum and over 70% of those polled said they love exercise! (Keep in mind this is a site primarily populated with people who are dealing with their weight.) Of course, there are exceptions, and I would expect that with any group of human beings, on any question! For the vast the majority, however, exercise is a positive force in their lives. Now, the truth is it may not be the exercise itself that they love. In many cases it seems to be the endorphins, how the exercise makes them feel afterwards, or even the results of the exercise on the body (more energy, more muscle, less fat, etc.) I also noticed that many times people were very active as kids, but became inactive as adults, which seems to indicate that an active childhood is no guarantor of an active adulthood. One of the most interesting things to come out of the conversation was that no matter how difficult it was to make oneself exercise, they were always glad, afterward, that they had done it. As one poster said, “I never, ever leave the gym thinking, "Gee, that was a bad idea. I feel like sh*t!"
As I said in my last post, my relationship with exercise has been fairly negative. Even during steady stretches of regular exercise, I never grew to love it. That "30 days make a habit" garbage simply doesn't work for me, seemingly! I thought maybe my endorphin machine was malfunctioning, and besides, LVIMH was always quick to remind me that I simply despised exercise.
Then one day I realized that LVIMH was – don’t be shocked now – lying to me! Yes, indeed. LVIMH does NOT always have my best interests at heart. In fact, I have discovered that LVIMH is lazy, self-indulgent, and has lied to me a lot! I think most of us tend to accept what we tell ourselves without questioning it. The thing is? We really should question it!
I remember I read a book back in high school called Telling Yourself the Truth. I thought it was a really good book, but I don’t think it sank in very well. We are talking to ourselves all of the time. “Self-talk,” the shrinks call it, and it is powerful stuff. More importantly, we can change what we say to ourselves, and by doing that, we can change our behavior. So I have started telling myself “I love exercise. I enjoy it.” even though it is not actually completely true -- yet. I would say that in regards to exercise, I have crawled out of the hate swamp and have reached the level of “It’s hard to make myself do it, but once I do it I am glad I did and it wasn’t so bad.” Furthermore, I firmly believe that if I continue to tell myself that I love exercise, I eventually will love exercise. Proverbs says that “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he,” which seems to indicate that our hearts and minds have a lot of power over who we are.
Wait a minute, though! If I tell myself “I love exercise,” isn’t that a lie? Aren’t I now lying to myself? Again? Just in a different way? Maybe. But the truth is, I have been lying to myself for years about exercise, and about a lot of things more significant than exercise. And “I love exercise” is perfectly capable of becoming the truth, because I am capable of changing – not just my behavior, not just my weight, but my eating habits, my exercise habits, and what I like or don’t like. Dr. Phil calls it “behaving your way to success.” In other words, decide how you want to be, and behave that way until it becomes who you are.
So given the choice of sitting on my internal high horse, nose in the air, proclaiming that this is who I am and if you don’t like it, tough tooties; or actually changing and growing and becoming a healthier, happier person? I’ll take the latter, thank you.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
But I Haaaaaaaaaaaaate Exercise!
When I was a child, I had asthma. I still have asthma, but when I was a child, it was very helpful, because it got me out of a lot of exercise, and I was not athletic. For example, in elementary school I had a doctor’s note saying that I did not have to “run ells” and boy was I glad! My elementary alma mater sits on a huge lot, and the grassy part of that lot is L-shaped. The (sadistic, whistle-blowing) p.e. teachers used to make us children run around this green space, sometimes for the entire p.e. period:
They say (“They” being all of these health/exercise/weight loss gurus) that everyone can find some sort of exercise that they enjoy. “Find out what you like. Try different things: swimming, walking, biking – until you find out what you enjoy.” If I heard that mantra once I heard it a thousand times, and nearly every time I heard it, it was followed by LVIMH (the Little Voice In My Head) saying “Bull-doodles! I hate exercise! I’ve tried it all, and although a few things are tolerable, I don’t like any of them! And, I never will. I simply do not like exercise!” (LVIMH tends to get a little verbose, plus she really likes exclamation marks, almost as much as I like commas.)
Since compulsory exercise became a thing of the past, LVIMH has pretty much had the upper hand on this topic. Not that I have not made attempts to become active. I joined Curves once, and the Y once, and I have tried other things, but always it was under the duress of LVIMH, who reminded me constantly that I HATE exercise. And it’s not just the exercise itself, it’s the sweating. When you get all sweaty, you have to take more time out of your day and shower, blow-dry, etc. If you want to exercise before work, you have to get up at a simply ungodly hour to fit it in. If you wait until after work, then the sun is gone by the time you get home. Exercise is a pain. And it’s inconvenient. And it’s stinky.
So, until a few months ago, I had pretty much resolved that I was never going to enjoy exercise. That I was going to have to do it as a necessary evil, like going to the dentist or paying my taxes. I had accepted this as FACT: “I hate exercise!”
To be continued…
(My parents still live across the street from this school, and I can testify that they still make kids run ells over there sometimes!)
Since I was excused from ells, the (sadistic, whistle-blowing) p.e. teachers would make me do jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, and flexed-arm hangs while the other children ran. Have you ever done a flexed-arm hang? Basically it’s a pull up to a horizontal bar, but once you are up there, you stay up there as long as you can. Your chin has to be above the bar, but not touching it, and sometimes our p.e. class would have competitions to see who could hang the longest. Suffice it to say that although I was a skinny child, and got lots of flexed-arm hang practice while other kids were running ells, I never won those competitions.
It’s not that I was inactive. As a kid, I was outside all the time – I rode my bike, I swam at the pool, I played at the park. But organized sports and activities just weren’t my thing. I wasn’t any good at them. I played 1 year of soccer (fullback), 1 year of softball (right field), took 1 year of trampoline – I didn’t like any of it enough to stick with it. And in Jr. High and High School - I hated p.e.! P.E. was a dumping ground for all of the non-athlete kids who were not on a school team of some sort. I have to give them credit – they planned a wide variety of activities for us – from aerobics to swimming to archery to softball…but I didn’t like sweating, and particularly not in the middle of the school day with 5 minutes to clean up and dress for the next class.
In college we had to take p.e., too. It was a little better, because we had so many more choices, and you could schedule yourself so that you were not rushing from swimming to calculus, but I still took the minimum required. I did make an honest attempt to start running. My freshman roommate was a runner – she would get up at about 5:00 am each morning and run 6 miles. I was impressed! So I started trying to run (not at 5 am certainly) and I worked up to a couple of miles. I was actually in pretty good shape my first couple of years of college. But then I finished all of my required p.e. courses, remembered that I hated exercise, and quit running.
Since I was excused from ells, the (sadistic, whistle-blowing) p.e. teachers would make me do jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, and flexed-arm hangs while the other children ran. Have you ever done a flexed-arm hang? Basically it’s a pull up to a horizontal bar, but once you are up there, you stay up there as long as you can. Your chin has to be above the bar, but not touching it, and sometimes our p.e. class would have competitions to see who could hang the longest. Suffice it to say that although I was a skinny child, and got lots of flexed-arm hang practice while other kids were running ells, I never won those competitions.
It’s not that I was inactive. As a kid, I was outside all the time – I rode my bike, I swam at the pool, I played at the park. But organized sports and activities just weren’t my thing. I wasn’t any good at them. I played 1 year of soccer (fullback), 1 year of softball (right field), took 1 year of trampoline – I didn’t like any of it enough to stick with it. And in Jr. High and High School - I hated p.e.! P.E. was a dumping ground for all of the non-athlete kids who were not on a school team of some sort. I have to give them credit – they planned a wide variety of activities for us – from aerobics to swimming to archery to softball…but I didn’t like sweating, and particularly not in the middle of the school day with 5 minutes to clean up and dress for the next class.
In college we had to take p.e., too. It was a little better, because we had so many more choices, and you could schedule yourself so that you were not rushing from swimming to calculus, but I still took the minimum required. I did make an honest attempt to start running. My freshman roommate was a runner – she would get up at about 5:00 am each morning and run 6 miles. I was impressed! So I started trying to run (not at 5 am certainly) and I worked up to a couple of miles. I was actually in pretty good shape my first couple of years of college. But then I finished all of my required p.e. courses, remembered that I hated exercise, and quit running.
They say (“They” being all of these health/exercise/weight loss gurus) that everyone can find some sort of exercise that they enjoy. “Find out what you like. Try different things: swimming, walking, biking – until you find out what you enjoy.” If I heard that mantra once I heard it a thousand times, and nearly every time I heard it, it was followed by LVIMH (the Little Voice In My Head) saying “Bull-doodles! I hate exercise! I’ve tried it all, and although a few things are tolerable, I don’t like any of them! And, I never will. I simply do not like exercise!” (LVIMH tends to get a little verbose, plus she really likes exclamation marks, almost as much as I like commas.)
Since compulsory exercise became a thing of the past, LVIMH has pretty much had the upper hand on this topic. Not that I have not made attempts to become active. I joined Curves once, and the Y once, and I have tried other things, but always it was under the duress of LVIMH, who reminded me constantly that I HATE exercise. And it’s not just the exercise itself, it’s the sweating. When you get all sweaty, you have to take more time out of your day and shower, blow-dry, etc. If you want to exercise before work, you have to get up at a simply ungodly hour to fit it in. If you wait until after work, then the sun is gone by the time you get home. Exercise is a pain. And it’s inconvenient. And it’s stinky.
So, until a few months ago, I had pretty much resolved that I was never going to enjoy exercise. That I was going to have to do it as a necessary evil, like going to the dentist or paying my taxes. I had accepted this as FACT: “I hate exercise!”
To be continued…
Monday, April 7, 2008
Losing Momentum
I have put off writing this post, because I know that there are people out there in blog-reading world who are easily discouraged by anything that does not qualify as uplifting, Rah! Rah!, AlwaysThinkPositive stuff. But this (in my opinion) is one of the most important concepts when it comes to losing weight and keeping it off, so here goes…
Last week I wrote about my Turning Point. My life changed on that day, permanently, but I would be remiss if I did not mention that before that day came, I had multiple other times when I THOUGHT I had reached a true turning point, only to discover later that I had not. It is very common among those of us who are striving to become smaller than we are to have mental, emotional, or spiritual “events” which give us motivation and momentum for a little while. Trouble is, the momentum dies off (at which point we typically revert to our old habits). And the more times we ride that merry-go-round, the more discouraged we get, and the less we want to try. (Sidenote: So how do you know the difference between a genuine turning point and one of these temporary will-power feasts? Because the change is in your thinking – not just how you feel, but in your actual thought processes about food, exercise, and weight. The world looks different, because you are looking at it from a different place. I hope that makes some sense! Perhaps I can elaborate more in a later post.)
I spent years thinking that if I could just find the right program, the right group, the right plan, then suddenly all of this would become EASY and that once I found that path I would skip merrily and effortlessly to my ideal weight. This is how the folks on TV get rich, by the way – by convincing you that THEIR program is THE program that will revolutionize your life. They have before/after pictures, testimonials, and the like to help you buy into it (by the way, in a later post I will address why I think each and every one of these programs have people for whom it does work). But back to the point: If you continue to believe that this journey is akin to climbing a mountain, reaching the top, and then sliding down smoothly to your goal, you are in for a one great big hairy disappointment after another. It is much more like a long distance bicycle ride – with uphills and downhills, and lots of pedaling, and lots of sweating. There are nice long downhill stretches, when the wind is at your back and you can rest your legs and just enjoy the ride. And there are grueling uphill bits when you may not even be able to pedal at all, but instead have to get off the bike and push it inch by inch upslope against the wind. And there are lots of miles in between. The thing is, even if you have a genuine turning point, you are going to lose momentum somewhere along the way.
I started my life change on September 27, 2007. That October I lost 15 pounds! Of course, we all know that the first month you tend to dump a lot of water, so I was quite pleased when in November I lost another 9 pounds. In December, I gave in to a lot of Christmas temptations, but still lost 4 pounds. (Most of my friends at thedailyplate.com agree that “not gaining” in December is as big an accomplishment as losing, so I was happy.) In January 2008 and February 2008 I lost 6 pounds per month – a respectable 1.5 a week – but I had to work hard for it, and my weight graphs for both of those months look like a bad EKG.
Then in March I gained 4 pounds. Actually I gained about 8, then lost back some of it, for a net monthly gain of 4 pounds. And I was exercising, so it wasn’t that I was not burning calories. I was just eating too many of them!
So I threw in the towel, decided that none of this was worth the effort, and ate an entire turtle cheesecake followed by 4 large french fries and a bag of Cheetos™. Right?
NO! Of course not! Stop and think a minute about how RIDICULOUS it is to suggest that after losing 40 pounds I would throw everything away because I gained back 4! Yet people just like you and me do this all of the time! We mess up, we backpedal, we lose momentum, and instead of pedaling harder, we just quit.
Oliver Goldsmith, 18th century writer, said “Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” If you want a more modern version, you can take it from Jon Bon Jovi, who put it this way: “Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.” Personally, I think a more accurate view is this: "Success is falling 998 times and getting up 999!" Look, I know that you don’t want to hear this, but you are going to screw up! You are going to lose momentum, you are going to fall and you are going to have to get back up again. The TV is lying to you, ok? There is no magic pill, or surgery, or food, or exercise, that makes this effortless. This is not a process that comes without pain and it is not a process that succeeds without ups and downs. Even The Biggest Loser™ contestants, who are in a highly controlled environment, sometimes have weeks when they don’t lose any weight. Rather than discourage you, this should encourage you! Because it does not matter how many times you fail, as long as you get your chubby bootie back up again!
I didn’t eat turtle cheesecake. Or french fries (and I dearly love french fries!) As for the Cheetos™ (which were in my pantry, and shouldn’t have been)? I trashed them. Because I am in this for the long haul. I plan to finish this race. I’m gonna pedal. I’m a week into April, and those pesky 4 pounds from March are already gone, so I’m sure glad I didn’t throw in the towel. You shouldn’t either, ok? Get back up!
Last week I wrote about my Turning Point. My life changed on that day, permanently, but I would be remiss if I did not mention that before that day came, I had multiple other times when I THOUGHT I had reached a true turning point, only to discover later that I had not. It is very common among those of us who are striving to become smaller than we are to have mental, emotional, or spiritual “events” which give us motivation and momentum for a little while. Trouble is, the momentum dies off (at which point we typically revert to our old habits). And the more times we ride that merry-go-round, the more discouraged we get, and the less we want to try. (Sidenote: So how do you know the difference between a genuine turning point and one of these temporary will-power feasts? Because the change is in your thinking – not just how you feel, but in your actual thought processes about food, exercise, and weight. The world looks different, because you are looking at it from a different place. I hope that makes some sense! Perhaps I can elaborate more in a later post.)
I spent years thinking that if I could just find the right program, the right group, the right plan, then suddenly all of this would become EASY and that once I found that path I would skip merrily and effortlessly to my ideal weight. This is how the folks on TV get rich, by the way – by convincing you that THEIR program is THE program that will revolutionize your life. They have before/after pictures, testimonials, and the like to help you buy into it (by the way, in a later post I will address why I think each and every one of these programs have people for whom it does work). But back to the point: If you continue to believe that this journey is akin to climbing a mountain, reaching the top, and then sliding down smoothly to your goal, you are in for a one great big hairy disappointment after another. It is much more like a long distance bicycle ride – with uphills and downhills, and lots of pedaling, and lots of sweating. There are nice long downhill stretches, when the wind is at your back and you can rest your legs and just enjoy the ride. And there are grueling uphill bits when you may not even be able to pedal at all, but instead have to get off the bike and push it inch by inch upslope against the wind. And there are lots of miles in between. The thing is, even if you have a genuine turning point, you are going to lose momentum somewhere along the way.
I started my life change on September 27, 2007. That October I lost 15 pounds! Of course, we all know that the first month you tend to dump a lot of water, so I was quite pleased when in November I lost another 9 pounds. In December, I gave in to a lot of Christmas temptations, but still lost 4 pounds. (Most of my friends at thedailyplate.com agree that “not gaining” in December is as big an accomplishment as losing, so I was happy.) In January 2008 and February 2008 I lost 6 pounds per month – a respectable 1.5 a week – but I had to work hard for it, and my weight graphs for both of those months look like a bad EKG.
Then in March I gained 4 pounds. Actually I gained about 8, then lost back some of it, for a net monthly gain of 4 pounds. And I was exercising, so it wasn’t that I was not burning calories. I was just eating too many of them!
So I threw in the towel, decided that none of this was worth the effort, and ate an entire turtle cheesecake followed by 4 large french fries and a bag of Cheetos™. Right?
NO! Of course not! Stop and think a minute about how RIDICULOUS it is to suggest that after losing 40 pounds I would throw everything away because I gained back 4! Yet people just like you and me do this all of the time! We mess up, we backpedal, we lose momentum, and instead of pedaling harder, we just quit.
Oliver Goldsmith, 18th century writer, said “Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” If you want a more modern version, you can take it from Jon Bon Jovi, who put it this way: “Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.” Personally, I think a more accurate view is this: "Success is falling 998 times and getting up 999!" Look, I know that you don’t want to hear this, but you are going to screw up! You are going to lose momentum, you are going to fall and you are going to have to get back up again. The TV is lying to you, ok? There is no magic pill, or surgery, or food, or exercise, that makes this effortless. This is not a process that comes without pain and it is not a process that succeeds without ups and downs. Even The Biggest Loser™ contestants, who are in a highly controlled environment, sometimes have weeks when they don’t lose any weight. Rather than discourage you, this should encourage you! Because it does not matter how many times you fail, as long as you get your chubby bootie back up again!
I didn’t eat turtle cheesecake. Or french fries (and I dearly love french fries!) As for the Cheetos™ (which were in my pantry, and shouldn’t have been)? I trashed them. Because I am in this for the long haul. I plan to finish this race. I’m gonna pedal. I’m a week into April, and those pesky 4 pounds from March are already gone, so I’m sure glad I didn’t throw in the towel. You shouldn’t either, ok? Get back up!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Don't Eat in Your Car!
Have you ever ridden in the car with someone who told you that they do not allow anyone to eat in their vehicle? Odds are they have no children, they are very obsessive about their vehicle, and/or they are thin!
Eating in the car has been around for a lot longer than fast food has. I can remember as a young child, when we took long trips, my mother would pack food for the road. This served a dual purpose: to save money and to save time. If we did not have to stop and go into a restaurant to eat, we could arrive at our destination quicker and with more change in our pockets. If I close my eyes, I can still taste bologna sandwiches, feel the Cheetos™ between my fingers, smell freshly peeled oranges, and hear John Denver on the radio as we streak across Oklahoma in our VW van.
Nowadays, we still eat in our cars to save time, but instead of packing sandwiches, chips and fruit for the road, we zip through one of the ubiquitous drive-thru windows and plunk down more money than we have any business spending on something that will be consumed in fewer than 10 minutes. (Sidenote: if you must eat fast food, pay with cash! McDonald’s revealed that the average transaction rose from $4.50 to $7 when people paid with plastic instead of cash. Wendy’s says their plastic purchases run about 35% higher than cash purchases.)
Anyhow, the two main reasons people eat in their cars is to save time, and for convenience. A third reason that is not so readily admitted to is secret eating. Even though we are surrounded by windows, for some reason when we are in our cars, we feel like we are alone and that no one can see us (for proof of this, start paying attention to other people in their cars at stoplights! You will be amazed at some of the things you see). There is a big difference between going into a restaurant, sitting down at a table (those fast food booths are TIGHT for us chubby girls!), eating in front of people, and getting it from a drive through then shoveling it down while you navigate the traffic. For years nutrition and behavior experts have advised not to eat in front of the TV, because you are not paying attention to what you are eating, and therefore you generally overeat. I submit that eating while driving is even more unconscious!
And let’s talk about salt. I once got into a conversation with a guy who details cars for a living. He told me you can always tell the people who eat a lot of fast food in their cars because there is salt in every crack and crevice. Setting aside for a moment the fact that most us eat WAY more salt than we should, consider your poor car! Salt is very corrosive, promotes rust, and can stain carpet. You know this if you live near an ocean or in a climate where salt is used to de-ice roads. So if you are constantly baptizing your car with salt, it is actually causing damage to it.
Even if you are not worried about salt damage, make a resolution to not eat in your car. Sure, it saves time, but how much, really? Maybe 15 or 20 minutes? Don’t you realize that every time you chow down a 1,000 calorie fast food meal you are shaving time off your life? You are worth getting up 15 minutes earlier to fix yourself a bowl of wholegrain cereal instead of paying $5 for a 500 calorie breakfast sandwich! Next time you go to Subway™, instead of getting it to go, sit down and eat it there in the store. It might cost you 15 minutes, but you will be so much more conscious about what and how much you are eating. Plus you can get a (sugar-free) drink refill! And when you drive by your favorite fast food place, listening to the siren song of piping hot fries, tell yourself this: “If you must eat fries, then you will have to go in, and sit down and eat them. I am not going to let you eat them in the car!” Trust me: the siren song will lose a lot of its power.
And what about convenience? It is so much easier to pick up chicken nuggets for the kids on the way home from school than to go home and make something! We are so busy nowadays, running from one activity to another – working, parenting, trying to keep our email inboxes below 1000…
I know, it’s hard, but you know what? It’s important enough to outweigh the hassle. I know you love your kids, so don’t feed them garbage for the sake of a little expediency! If your mornings are hectic, make sure to keep fresh fruit and (healthy!) granola bars in stock for grab n’ go breakfast. How about natural peanut butter spread on whole-grain bread? Or a boiled egg (boil a dozen ahead of time and keep them in the fridge). Smoothies are a quick and easy option, too. Consider setting your alarm just 10 minutes earlier so you can eat something before you leave the house. As for lunch and dinner, sit down on Saturday or Sunday and plan your meals for the week. That way you won’t use fast-food as a stop-gap for poor planning.
If you decide not to give up fast food altogether (and fortunately, more and more healthy options are being offered), and you don’t have time to go in and sit, consider waiting until you reach your destination before digging in to that paper bag. Your car (and your waistline) will thank you.
Eating in the car has been around for a lot longer than fast food has. I can remember as a young child, when we took long trips, my mother would pack food for the road. This served a dual purpose: to save money and to save time. If we did not have to stop and go into a restaurant to eat, we could arrive at our destination quicker and with more change in our pockets. If I close my eyes, I can still taste bologna sandwiches, feel the Cheetos™ between my fingers, smell freshly peeled oranges, and hear John Denver on the radio as we streak across Oklahoma in our VW van.
Nowadays, we still eat in our cars to save time, but instead of packing sandwiches, chips and fruit for the road, we zip through one of the ubiquitous drive-thru windows and plunk down more money than we have any business spending on something that will be consumed in fewer than 10 minutes. (Sidenote: if you must eat fast food, pay with cash! McDonald’s revealed that the average transaction rose from $4.50 to $7 when people paid with plastic instead of cash. Wendy’s says their plastic purchases run about 35% higher than cash purchases.)
Anyhow, the two main reasons people eat in their cars is to save time, and for convenience. A third reason that is not so readily admitted to is secret eating. Even though we are surrounded by windows, for some reason when we are in our cars, we feel like we are alone and that no one can see us (for proof of this, start paying attention to other people in their cars at stoplights! You will be amazed at some of the things you see). There is a big difference between going into a restaurant, sitting down at a table (those fast food booths are TIGHT for us chubby girls!), eating in front of people, and getting it from a drive through then shoveling it down while you navigate the traffic. For years nutrition and behavior experts have advised not to eat in front of the TV, because you are not paying attention to what you are eating, and therefore you generally overeat. I submit that eating while driving is even more unconscious!
And let’s talk about salt. I once got into a conversation with a guy who details cars for a living. He told me you can always tell the people who eat a lot of fast food in their cars because there is salt in every crack and crevice. Setting aside for a moment the fact that most us eat WAY more salt than we should, consider your poor car! Salt is very corrosive, promotes rust, and can stain carpet. You know this if you live near an ocean or in a climate where salt is used to de-ice roads. So if you are constantly baptizing your car with salt, it is actually causing damage to it.
Even if you are not worried about salt damage, make a resolution to not eat in your car. Sure, it saves time, but how much, really? Maybe 15 or 20 minutes? Don’t you realize that every time you chow down a 1,000 calorie fast food meal you are shaving time off your life? You are worth getting up 15 minutes earlier to fix yourself a bowl of wholegrain cereal instead of paying $5 for a 500 calorie breakfast sandwich! Next time you go to Subway™, instead of getting it to go, sit down and eat it there in the store. It might cost you 15 minutes, but you will be so much more conscious about what and how much you are eating. Plus you can get a (sugar-free) drink refill! And when you drive by your favorite fast food place, listening to the siren song of piping hot fries, tell yourself this: “If you must eat fries, then you will have to go in, and sit down and eat them. I am not going to let you eat them in the car!” Trust me: the siren song will lose a lot of its power.
And what about convenience? It is so much easier to pick up chicken nuggets for the kids on the way home from school than to go home and make something! We are so busy nowadays, running from one activity to another – working, parenting, trying to keep our email inboxes below 1000…
I know, it’s hard, but you know what? It’s important enough to outweigh the hassle. I know you love your kids, so don’t feed them garbage for the sake of a little expediency! If your mornings are hectic, make sure to keep fresh fruit and (healthy!) granola bars in stock for grab n’ go breakfast. How about natural peanut butter spread on whole-grain bread? Or a boiled egg (boil a dozen ahead of time and keep them in the fridge). Smoothies are a quick and easy option, too. Consider setting your alarm just 10 minutes earlier so you can eat something before you leave the house. As for lunch and dinner, sit down on Saturday or Sunday and plan your meals for the week. That way you won’t use fast-food as a stop-gap for poor planning.
If you decide not to give up fast food altogether (and fortunately, more and more healthy options are being offered), and you don’t have time to go in and sit, consider waiting until you reach your destination before digging in to that paper bag. Your car (and your waistline) will thank you.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Ask Yourself Why
Dave Ramsey tells a story about a man who won a prize ham. He brought it home, proud as can be, and gave it to his wife to cook. She preheated the oven, prepared the pan, cut off the last few inches of the ham, and placed it into the pan to bake. When the ham was served, the man complained, saying, “Why did you cut off the end? That is the best part of a ham!” The wife replied, “I don’t know. That is how my mother always did it. I am sure there is a good reason.” They decide to call and ask the wife’s mom, who said, “I don’t know why. My mother always did it that way, so I figured that was the best way to cook it.” Fortunately, grandma was still living, so they called her up to ask her the secret. Grandma (once she had stopped giggling) explained that the reason she cut the end off the ham was because her baking pan was too small for the whole thing.*
The point of the story is this: we do a lot of things simply because our parents did it that way, and we believe a lot of things simply because the people with whom we associate believe those things. I want to introduce you to a word today: metacognition. We use it a lot in education. It means “thinking about thinking,” or, to put it another way, thinking about your own thought processes. It means becoming aware of what you think, and asking yourself why you think that way.
For example, are you the sort of person who always eats dessert? Do you feel like a meal is not complete unless you eat something sweet at the end of it? Ask yourself why! Did your Mom provide dessert with every meal? Do you have happy memories of family gatherings topped with apple pie and homemade ice cream? Did you grow up eating Banquet TV dinners with the little dessert in the corner? (Sidenote: some nutritionists do recommend dessert if you are accustomed to it, as it signals the brain that your meal is over, but they suggest something like a piece of fruit or a small piece of chocolate).
Maybe you HATE exercise. Ask yourself why! Did you come from a sedentary background? Does your family exercise? Your spouse? Or were you an athlete and you got hurt? Maybe you were made fun of as a teenager when doing calisthenics or you were terrible at sports in p.e. Or maybe (this one might hurt) you are lazy! Maybe you are just plain slothful (I was) and you need to start moving your bootie.
Why do you hate vegetables?
Why do you drive through McDonald’s on your way to work?
Why do you watch so much TV?
Why do you read while you are eating?
Why do you eat when you are depressed?
Why do you dress the way you do?
Why do you eat in your car? Or in secret?
Ask yourself these questions. And any other questions you can think of in regards to your behavior. In fact, write them down in a notebook and try to figure out the answers. It will be worth the time and effort.
Metacognition: it is a powerful thing. Because once you ask yourself why, once you become aware of the way you think about something, you can start to change it. And that is what we are working towards, here, isn’t it? Real change.
*By the way, to see some more versions of this “fable”, check out its Snopes page.
The point of the story is this: we do a lot of things simply because our parents did it that way, and we believe a lot of things simply because the people with whom we associate believe those things. I want to introduce you to a word today: metacognition. We use it a lot in education. It means “thinking about thinking,” or, to put it another way, thinking about your own thought processes. It means becoming aware of what you think, and asking yourself why you think that way.
For example, are you the sort of person who always eats dessert? Do you feel like a meal is not complete unless you eat something sweet at the end of it? Ask yourself why! Did your Mom provide dessert with every meal? Do you have happy memories of family gatherings topped with apple pie and homemade ice cream? Did you grow up eating Banquet TV dinners with the little dessert in the corner? (Sidenote: some nutritionists do recommend dessert if you are accustomed to it, as it signals the brain that your meal is over, but they suggest something like a piece of fruit or a small piece of chocolate).
Maybe you HATE exercise. Ask yourself why! Did you come from a sedentary background? Does your family exercise? Your spouse? Or were you an athlete and you got hurt? Maybe you were made fun of as a teenager when doing calisthenics or you were terrible at sports in p.e. Or maybe (this one might hurt) you are lazy! Maybe you are just plain slothful (I was) and you need to start moving your bootie.
Why do you hate vegetables?
Why do you drive through McDonald’s on your way to work?
Why do you watch so much TV?
Why do you read while you are eating?
Why do you eat when you are depressed?
Why do you dress the way you do?
Why do you eat in your car? Or in secret?
Ask yourself these questions. And any other questions you can think of in regards to your behavior. In fact, write them down in a notebook and try to figure out the answers. It will be worth the time and effort.
Metacognition: it is a powerful thing. Because once you ask yourself why, once you become aware of the way you think about something, you can start to change it. And that is what we are working towards, here, isn’t it? Real change.
*By the way, to see some more versions of this “fable”, check out its Snopes page.
Turning Point, part 2
Once I got over the shock of the phone call telling me that, no, I was not going to have surgery; and therefore no, I was not going to be a parent anytime soon, I began a rapid cycle of emotions not dissimilar to the stages of grief. Denial lasted maybe an hour, then quickly morphed into depression, which clung for several hours before morphing into anger – a lot of it. I was really, really mad. First at Dr. S herself, for raising our hopes so high and then letting a cheerful voice on the phone pull the rug out from under us. Second, at Cheerful Voice herself, for not having more tact and for not giving me any direction other than “go see your doctor.” Third, and most of all, at myself for being in such poor health. I was angry, I was crushed, and I felt completely helpless. (This is important, because the helplessness is the key that turned the lock for me.) At that point in my life, I had reached a place where I felt as if there was nothing I could do to change my level of health. I had had so many years of failure, of struggling, of praying, of gritting my teeth and screwing up my courage and manufacturing will-power, trying so hard to change, that I had effectively given up. I was a victim of circumstances, of genetics, of the restaurant industry, of the ticking clock, and because of this I was to be denied my lifelong dream of having children.
My mother, poor thing, was witness to some of this anger and the subsequent bargaining stage. Naturally nothing she said was getting through to me. One of the things she pointed out was that I could try another fertility doctor, but even in my state of mind I knew that shopping for a doctor who was willing to take a bigger risk was not a smart idea. I was still open to adoption, but I believed I was also facing a genuine loss: the loss of the possibility of bearing a child myself, and it hurt! I heard myself saying aloud “I’m not going to have a baby. I’m never going to have a baby. This is so unfair!”
Being a Christian, and believing that prayer is a powerful thing, I naturally took the matter to God. I had been praying about my weight, my health, and the issue of parenthood for years; but I must admit this particular prayer session was more whining than anything else: “Why, Lord? I would be a good mom, I know I would! Why do we have to work so hard to be parents when so many others fall into it? It’s not right! And why is my body betraying me? Why can’t I lose weight and get healthy? I’ve been praying and trying for so many years and I am not getting anywhere!” and so on, you get the idea.
It was in the moment, when I was teetering on the border between depression and rage that I felt the following words speaking deep in my spirit: "This is something you have control over.”
Now, I am quite sure that I have heard those words before, likely thousands of times, but for some reason, this time, perhaps because of my emotional or spiritual or mental state, I really heard them. There was a locked door in my mind, and those words were the key that fit the lock. Call it an epiphany if you like, but in that moment I had a fundamental change in my thinking. Nothing had changed in my circumstances, or my health, or my body; but something changed in my brain. For the first time in a long time I felt like I had some power. I found myself standing in front of the mirror, talking to myself (stop laughing, you’ve done it too, and if you haven’t perhaps you should try it!), saying things like: “You can lose weight if you want to. You are the one who decides what goes into your mouth. What? Are those chocolate chip cookies buying themselves and leaping onto your mouth while you are sleeping? You are the one who decides if you are going to exercise. You can choose your behavior. What? Do you expect God to zap you with awesome metabolism, a love of sweat and a hatred for sugar? What about free will, hmmm? You are not a puppet or a robot or an infant. Is it going to be easy? Probably not – but what have you accomplished by doing what is easy, huh? Nothing, that’s what, So get with it, missy!”
That was the beginning, and since then I have lost 40 pounds, lowered my A1C to 5.9, developed better eating habits, begun regular exercise, and no, it hasn’t been a cake walk but it hasn’t been that hard, either. Why? Because my thinking changed. I don't want to oversimplify things, but you have to be in the right head-space in order to lose weight successfully. For some people, like me, it takes an emotional benchmark. For others, perhaps, it does not have to be so dramatic. I also believe that I was praying for the wrong thing for years. What I wanted was to eat whatever I wanted, lie on the couch watching TV instead of exercising, and be thin and healthy. I just couldn’t understand why God wouldn’t let me have it that way. I wanted to have all of the benefits of self-control and self-discipline without practicing either, and it just doesn’t work that way.
So that is my story; at least the beginning of the story. And by the way: I am having the surgery this Friday. :-)
My mother, poor thing, was witness to some of this anger and the subsequent bargaining stage. Naturally nothing she said was getting through to me. One of the things she pointed out was that I could try another fertility doctor, but even in my state of mind I knew that shopping for a doctor who was willing to take a bigger risk was not a smart idea. I was still open to adoption, but I believed I was also facing a genuine loss: the loss of the possibility of bearing a child myself, and it hurt! I heard myself saying aloud “I’m not going to have a baby. I’m never going to have a baby. This is so unfair!”
Being a Christian, and believing that prayer is a powerful thing, I naturally took the matter to God. I had been praying about my weight, my health, and the issue of parenthood for years; but I must admit this particular prayer session was more whining than anything else: “Why, Lord? I would be a good mom, I know I would! Why do we have to work so hard to be parents when so many others fall into it? It’s not right! And why is my body betraying me? Why can’t I lose weight and get healthy? I’ve been praying and trying for so many years and I am not getting anywhere!” and so on, you get the idea.
It was in the moment, when I was teetering on the border between depression and rage that I felt the following words speaking deep in my spirit: "This is something you have control over.”
Now, I am quite sure that I have heard those words before, likely thousands of times, but for some reason, this time, perhaps because of my emotional or spiritual or mental state, I really heard them. There was a locked door in my mind, and those words were the key that fit the lock. Call it an epiphany if you like, but in that moment I had a fundamental change in my thinking. Nothing had changed in my circumstances, or my health, or my body; but something changed in my brain. For the first time in a long time I felt like I had some power. I found myself standing in front of the mirror, talking to myself (stop laughing, you’ve done it too, and if you haven’t perhaps you should try it!), saying things like: “You can lose weight if you want to. You are the one who decides what goes into your mouth. What? Are those chocolate chip cookies buying themselves and leaping onto your mouth while you are sleeping? You are the one who decides if you are going to exercise. You can choose your behavior. What? Do you expect God to zap you with awesome metabolism, a love of sweat and a hatred for sugar? What about free will, hmmm? You are not a puppet or a robot or an infant. Is it going to be easy? Probably not – but what have you accomplished by doing what is easy, huh? Nothing, that’s what, So get with it, missy!”
That was the beginning, and since then I have lost 40 pounds, lowered my A1C to 5.9, developed better eating habits, begun regular exercise, and no, it hasn’t been a cake walk but it hasn’t been that hard, either. Why? Because my thinking changed. I don't want to oversimplify things, but you have to be in the right head-space in order to lose weight successfully. For some people, like me, it takes an emotional benchmark. For others, perhaps, it does not have to be so dramatic. I also believe that I was praying for the wrong thing for years. What I wanted was to eat whatever I wanted, lie on the couch watching TV instead of exercising, and be thin and healthy. I just couldn’t understand why God wouldn’t let me have it that way. I wanted to have all of the benefits of self-control and self-discipline without practicing either, and it just doesn’t work that way.
So that is my story; at least the beginning of the story. And by the way: I am having the surgery this Friday. :-)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Turning Point, part 1
Today marks exactly 6 months since I started my new lifestyle, so I thought it would be a good time to talk about what happened 6 months ago and why it caused me to radically change my behavior in regards to eating, exercise, and my diabetes. I am breaking this post into parts, because it is a long story.
First, a little history: I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes in the Spring of 2003 (I think I said in a previous post that it was 2002, but I went back and checked, and it was actually 2003, so I’ll be editing that), and lost 27 pounds that first year, then spent the next 5 years maintaining until September 27, 2007, when I had my wake-up call. During that maintenance time I was not behaving in the way a diabetic should, but I played the game pretty well. I found ways to eat what I wanted, wasn’t exercising, and was a little conservative with the truth when speaking to my doctor and family about my condition. It was not uncommon for me to have fasting blood sugar readings of 150, and after a meal it would get close to 300. Had I continued in this pattern I am quite sure that I not only would have started to gain weight again, but also would have ended up on insulin.
More history: I have always wanted to be a wife and mother (in that order), and my glorious plan was to marry right out of college, have a ton of kids, and be a stay-at-home Mom. The thing is, as often happens in life, it did not work out that way. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34, and we married when I was 36, so at this point I would be pleased as punch if I could be blessed with just 1 or 2 kids. Plus I should mention that, as most of you know, one’s plans and priorities often change as one gets older, and although I think large families are a blessing, I am not so sure anymore that I would have been an ideal matriarch for a large brood. Which goes to show that, many times, what we want is not always what is best for us. But I digress.
When the first 3 years of marriage did not result in pregnancy, my husband and I consulted a fertility specialist (we are also open to adoption, but wanted to try biologically, first.). She was very encouraging, stating that she believed she could help us – my fears that she would take one look at me: a 39-year-old very overweight diabetic, and say “no way!’ proved to be unfounded - and I started to hope. She did an ultrasound and recommended that I have a minor surgery to remove fibroids and possibly a septum, stating that once that was taken care of we would most likely be successful in our parental pursuits. She drew a ton of bloodwork on us and said to call back in a week to schedule the surgery.
I left that appointment elated. After so many years of being SNP (single, no prospects), and 3 years of negative e.p.t. sticks, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I just knew that this surgery would solve our problems!
On September 27th, I called the doctor’s office to schedule the surgery. Now, you would think that if you work in a fertility doctor’s office, you would have some amount of training in the gentle breaking of bad news, but the gal who answered the phone simply told be chirpily that “Dr. S said to tell you that your labs are very alarming – your A1C is 7.3, and she is not comfortable operating on you in your current state of health.”
I was dumbfounded. I managed to stammer out, “Well, what now? What do I do?” to which the peppy voice replied that they had already faxed my lab results to my endocrinologist, and I needed to make an appointment with him right away to see what we could do to manage my diabetes. This was also alarming, since I could not recall telling them it was ok to fax my labs to anyone (although I am sure I signed something that said they could) and I did not want to face my Endo with an A1C reading of 7.3! I still had a couple of months before my regular Endo appt. and had planned to “be very good” for the weeks leading up to that appointment, but here was my bad behavior laid out in black & white, and he already had it in his inbox!
The rest of the conversation is a bit of a blur, but I think I said something like, “I guess I’ll be back in touch after I speak with him” to which I am quite sure the cheerful voice said “okey dokey” or the like.
To be continued…
First, a little history: I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes in the Spring of 2003 (I think I said in a previous post that it was 2002, but I went back and checked, and it was actually 2003, so I’ll be editing that), and lost 27 pounds that first year, then spent the next 5 years maintaining until September 27, 2007, when I had my wake-up call. During that maintenance time I was not behaving in the way a diabetic should, but I played the game pretty well. I found ways to eat what I wanted, wasn’t exercising, and was a little conservative with the truth when speaking to my doctor and family about my condition. It was not uncommon for me to have fasting blood sugar readings of 150, and after a meal it would get close to 300. Had I continued in this pattern I am quite sure that I not only would have started to gain weight again, but also would have ended up on insulin.
More history: I have always wanted to be a wife and mother (in that order), and my glorious plan was to marry right out of college, have a ton of kids, and be a stay-at-home Mom. The thing is, as often happens in life, it did not work out that way. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34, and we married when I was 36, so at this point I would be pleased as punch if I could be blessed with just 1 or 2 kids. Plus I should mention that, as most of you know, one’s plans and priorities often change as one gets older, and although I think large families are a blessing, I am not so sure anymore that I would have been an ideal matriarch for a large brood. Which goes to show that, many times, what we want is not always what is best for us. But I digress.
When the first 3 years of marriage did not result in pregnancy, my husband and I consulted a fertility specialist (we are also open to adoption, but wanted to try biologically, first.). She was very encouraging, stating that she believed she could help us – my fears that she would take one look at me: a 39-year-old very overweight diabetic, and say “no way!’ proved to be unfounded - and I started to hope. She did an ultrasound and recommended that I have a minor surgery to remove fibroids and possibly a septum, stating that once that was taken care of we would most likely be successful in our parental pursuits. She drew a ton of bloodwork on us and said to call back in a week to schedule the surgery.
I left that appointment elated. After so many years of being SNP (single, no prospects), and 3 years of negative e.p.t. sticks, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I just knew that this surgery would solve our problems!
On September 27th, I called the doctor’s office to schedule the surgery. Now, you would think that if you work in a fertility doctor’s office, you would have some amount of training in the gentle breaking of bad news, but the gal who answered the phone simply told be chirpily that “Dr. S said to tell you that your labs are very alarming – your A1C is 7.3, and she is not comfortable operating on you in your current state of health.”
I was dumbfounded. I managed to stammer out, “Well, what now? What do I do?” to which the peppy voice replied that they had already faxed my lab results to my endocrinologist, and I needed to make an appointment with him right away to see what we could do to manage my diabetes. This was also alarming, since I could not recall telling them it was ok to fax my labs to anyone (although I am sure I signed something that said they could) and I did not want to face my Endo with an A1C reading of 7.3! I still had a couple of months before my regular Endo appt. and had planned to “be very good” for the weeks leading up to that appointment, but here was my bad behavior laid out in black & white, and he already had it in his inbox!
The rest of the conversation is a bit of a blur, but I think I said something like, “I guess I’ll be back in touch after I speak with him” to which I am quite sure the cheerful voice said “okey dokey” or the like.
To be continued…
Monday, March 24, 2008
Rodeo Jeans
I met my husband in February 2002, and our second date was to the Houston Rodeo. Every spring the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo takes over Houston for about a month, and it is a huge thing ‘round these parts. Up until that point I had been to the rodeo once or twice with my family, but we were not “Rodeo people.” We were not into country music, western wear, or livestock, and didn’t really hang with anyone who was. When I was a teenager, my district had 2 high schools (now it has 5!) and I attended Clear Lake, which was richly populated with people who wore Izod polos and listened to pop music. The other high school, Clear Creek, was richly populated with people who wore cowboy boots and listened to country music. Naturally they thought we were stuck up, and we thought they were hicks. So going to the Rodeo was not something I had a lot of experience with, but my future husband was a fan, and already had tickets, so I agreed to go. Right around that time I had received a bag of hand-me-over clothes from someone (can’t recall if she was losing weight or gaining), and in the bag happened to be a pair of what I fondly refer to as my “rodeo jeans.” These jeans are boot cut, with studs up the outsides of the legs and rhinestones all around the pockets, and at the time (I was around my heaviest) they were TIGHT! But since I was able to get them zipped, and being in the mode of trying to impress FutureHusband, I squeezed myself into them, donned the only western-style shirt I owned (untucked, of course!), and went off to the rodeo.
I had a good time, and over the last several years have discovered that I do like a lot of country music, enjoy livestock shows, and even get a kick out of dressing western once in awhile. But that 2nd date to the rodeo was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life! Stadium seats are not made for fat girls with humongous back ends, and being in those jeans meant that when I did wedge myself into a sitting position (after walking up several ramps and those steep, steep stadium stairs!), my stomach rolled over the waistband and breathing became a challenge. The rodeo plus concert lasts a good 4 hours, so it was brutal. I kept my arm around the back of FutureHusband’s chair for most of the time, not out of affection, but simply to ease the pressure on my lungs and to keep from rubbing against the person to my right (who undoubtedly was thinking “Great, I get to sit next to a big’un – and holy cow how did she get herself into those jeans?!")
Preceding and following the torture of sitting in a hard plastic vise struggling to breathe, we walked – a lot. The Houston Rodeo is not just about bronc busting – it is a multi-million dollar event which includes a huge livestock show, gigantic kids area, hundreds of vendor booths, a massive carnival, an art show, a quilt show, loads of scholarship money, every kind of unhealthy food imaginable (e.g. deep fried snickers bars), etcetera, etcetera! It is easy to spend an entire day there (along with an entire paycheck, if you are not careful)! So the rodeo/concert was bookmarked with a lot of walking, or in my case trotting, to keep up with a 6’2” guy with very long legs who was in much better shape than I was.
I don’t know if you have ever tried to trot in super-tight jeans, hand me down boots, and a western shirt; in 80-degree weather, with asthma and close to 150 pounds of extra weight, but it is not fun! I kept asking FutureHusband to slow down, blaming my asthma primarily, because I was sucking on my inhaler about every half-hour; and the boots secondarily, since they were a new experience for me and a little too big as well. He was nice about it, a perfect gentleman, and I asked him this year if he knew back then that I was huffing and puffing because I was so incredibly out of shape. He says he didn’t, which is points for him whether or not it is true.
I still have those jeans, and in fact I have worn them to the rodeo every year since that first miserable time, with the exception of this year. (Most of those years I was nearly 30 pounds lighter than in 2002, so although the jeans were still snug, they did not render me miserable.) I didn’t wear them this year in 2008 because they are now so loose that I can take them off without unzipping them! (and no, there is not a speck of spandex in them.) This year, I actually had to buy a new pair of rodeo jeans, and although they are not nearly as flashy as my old ones (no studs or rhinestones on these puppies), they are boot cut, western style, faded Levis, and more importantly: they are a size 20! Over the years I have cut a lot of size tags out of clothes (to fool myself and others) but the size tag in my old rodeo jeans is still there, and it says 26/28. When my husband and I were jean shopping (he needed some too) I went straight for the 22, but they were too baggy (!) so I ended up buying the 20. I wore them to the rodeo last week, and when I sat down in the stadium not only did I fit in the seat, I could actually breathe!
Talk about motivation! But as psyched as I am about my new jeans, I am waaaaay more excited to report that they have apparently done some major construction on the Reliant Center, because this year I was able to walk from the bottom of the stadium section to the top without huffing and puffing! Perhaps they had so many complaints from fat folks that they adjusted the angle of ascent for the stairs and ramps. ;)
Seriously, though, when we went to the rodeo this year, I did not have to trot, suck on my inhaler, or struggle to breathe. I was not only able to keep up, I did so without sweating, and realized that the weight I have lost so far plus the exercise I have been doing truly is making a big difference! I can remember in years past thinking: “I really have to go to the bathroom, but I really don’t want to walk up those steep, steep stairs again!” This year? No issue. Not that I don’t still have a long way to go, because I do, but these are the things that keep me from getting discouraged with the “big picture.” These are the Gatorade shots that help you finish the marathon. So Yee-Haw!
Me and hubby at Rodeo 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Happy Easter!
Wow - I haven't posted in a week! I have been on Spring Break plus my mom had knee surgery, so I havn't been online much. Sorry about that. I'll post later today or tomorrow. And Happy Easter, by the way! Stay away from those candy-filled eggs, and get yourself into church this Sunday, ok?Hip Hop Rap ;)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Testing...1,2,3...
I just wasted 2 test strips – in both cases because I didn’t get enough blood on the strip. “Err 5,” my meter shouted at me – twice! – and it makes me SO MAD when I waste strips, because the strips are what cost money – about 33 cents a strip on a monthly prescription, which (if I test 3 times a day as directed) is $1 a day, $7 a week, $28 a month, $354 a year. I do get a small break by using mail order for my strips – brings it down to about 23 cents apiece – but still, the strips are where they “getcha,” pocketbook-wise. Meters are free from the doctor or from the company, and lancets – well, they are the same copay as strips, but you can reuse them. I use the same lancet for about a month, so they end up costing almost nothing. (sidenote: I realize that the meter companies tell you to always use a fresh lancet, but um, no way am I doing that! It’s my body, my blood; no one else uses it or touches it, so I just switch out when it starts getting blunt.) If test strips could be reused, believe me, I would do that too. I further complicate things by testing more than 3 times a day (average 4.7 times according to my spreadsheet), because I like to keep really close tabs on my blood sugar, but my insurance won’t pay for more than 3 a day, so once in awhile I buy a vial of strips out of pocket. They are $1 apiece if you buy them that way – yikes! I can’t wait until I can get myself one of these. They still aren’t available for purchase, but should be soon! Once I have one, I can check my blood sugar anytime I want – with no needles.
Anyway. I never thought I would be able to test my blood sugar at all. I have a history of being seriously needle phobic. I am much better now, but I can remember as a child being held down by multiple adults for a vaccination. This year for the very first time I got a flu shot, and it not only took me days to talk myself into it, I was so keyed up on the day of the shot I am amazed I showed up for it at all. So the prospect of sticking my own fingers? Not a happy one. Interestingly, like most of life’s inconveniences, having to stab yourself 3 or more times a day does get easier over time. I don’t mind testing my sugar at all now, and most of the time it does not hurt, although there are those times when you shoot right into those nerves and WOWZA! you feel that for awhile. Usually, though, it is painless.
You would think after 5 years of doing this I would be able to eyeball how much blood is needed to make the strip happy. But I still screw it up a few times a month.
You know how Wilford Brimley comes on TV and says “Check your blood sugar. Check it often.” That always amazes me: that people need to be reminded, because I WANT to know what my blood sugar is. It is hard for me to imagine being diabetic and not wanting to know, unless you are in denial or seriously rebellious. Being rebellious as a diabetic is exactly the same thing as being self-destructive, by the way, because ignoring this condition is exactly the same as slitting your wrists, except it takes longer and is a lot more painful! Having experienced denial, however, I do get that by not checking your blood sugar, you can pretend that you did not just eat that package of Oreos. Or by waiting long enough after eating the Oreos to check, you can fool yourself into believing there was not a significant effect on your blood sugar. In fact, it is possible, by strategic testing, to fool yourself into believing that your blood sugar is under simply excellent control.
Thank heavens for the Hemoglobin A1c test! It’s hard to fool that test, so make sure your doctor is checking your A1c every 3 months, if you are diabetic. What the A1c does is look at your blood cells and “count” how many sugar molecules are stuck to them. Sugar is sticky stuff, and one of the things it loves to stick to is red blood cells. When you are diabetic and your blood has too much sugar, all that sugar floating around in your bloodstream tends to stick to the red blood cells. Now, a red blood cell only lives for about 3 months, so if you take some blood (ouch!), count all the sugar molecules attached to the cells, and average that number, it gives you the average blood sugar for the previous 3 months. Brilliant, yes? Even if you behaved for the month before your doctor’s appointment, the two previous months will still cause the test to read higher. This is a GOOD THING, because finger sticking is such an imperfect way to keep track, even if you aren’t rebellious or in denial! Here’s an A1c table. My most recent A1c was 5.9, which made me very happy, and I expect my next one will be even lower.
And check this out: Studies show that every time you reduce your A1c by just 1 point (i.e. from 7 to 6), you decrease the risk of damage to your heart and blood vessels by 10%! So even if you have a really high A1c right now, like 12, reducing it to 8 would give you a 40% improvement in the risk department for your ticker! That is pretty motivating.
Who knows, Technology like the Glucoband might eventually eliminate the need for the A1c test, and anything that eliminates needles I am very much in favor of!
Anyway. I never thought I would be able to test my blood sugar at all. I have a history of being seriously needle phobic. I am much better now, but I can remember as a child being held down by multiple adults for a vaccination. This year for the very first time I got a flu shot, and it not only took me days to talk myself into it, I was so keyed up on the day of the shot I am amazed I showed up for it at all. So the prospect of sticking my own fingers? Not a happy one. Interestingly, like most of life’s inconveniences, having to stab yourself 3 or more times a day does get easier over time. I don’t mind testing my sugar at all now, and most of the time it does not hurt, although there are those times when you shoot right into those nerves and WOWZA! you feel that for awhile. Usually, though, it is painless.
You would think after 5 years of doing this I would be able to eyeball how much blood is needed to make the strip happy. But I still screw it up a few times a month.
You know how Wilford Brimley comes on TV and says “Check your blood sugar. Check it often.” That always amazes me: that people need to be reminded, because I WANT to know what my blood sugar is. It is hard for me to imagine being diabetic and not wanting to know, unless you are in denial or seriously rebellious. Being rebellious as a diabetic is exactly the same thing as being self-destructive, by the way, because ignoring this condition is exactly the same as slitting your wrists, except it takes longer and is a lot more painful! Having experienced denial, however, I do get that by not checking your blood sugar, you can pretend that you did not just eat that package of Oreos. Or by waiting long enough after eating the Oreos to check, you can fool yourself into believing there was not a significant effect on your blood sugar. In fact, it is possible, by strategic testing, to fool yourself into believing that your blood sugar is under simply excellent control.
Thank heavens for the Hemoglobin A1c test! It’s hard to fool that test, so make sure your doctor is checking your A1c every 3 months, if you are diabetic. What the A1c does is look at your blood cells and “count” how many sugar molecules are stuck to them. Sugar is sticky stuff, and one of the things it loves to stick to is red blood cells. When you are diabetic and your blood has too much sugar, all that sugar floating around in your bloodstream tends to stick to the red blood cells. Now, a red blood cell only lives for about 3 months, so if you take some blood (ouch!), count all the sugar molecules attached to the cells, and average that number, it gives you the average blood sugar for the previous 3 months. Brilliant, yes? Even if you behaved for the month before your doctor’s appointment, the two previous months will still cause the test to read higher. This is a GOOD THING, because finger sticking is such an imperfect way to keep track, even if you aren’t rebellious or in denial! Here’s an A1c table. My most recent A1c was 5.9, which made me very happy, and I expect my next one will be even lower.
And check this out: Studies show that every time you reduce your A1c by just 1 point (i.e. from 7 to 6), you decrease the risk of damage to your heart and blood vessels by 10%! So even if you have a really high A1c right now, like 12, reducing it to 8 would give you a 40% improvement in the risk department for your ticker! That is pretty motivating.
Who knows, Technology like the Glucoband might eventually eliminate the need for the A1c test, and anything that eliminates needles I am very much in favor of!
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