(My parents still live across the street from this school, and I can testify that they still make kids run ells over there sometimes!)
Since I was excused from ells, the (sadistic, whistle-blowing) p.e. teachers would make me do jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, and flexed-arm hangs while the other children ran. Have you ever done a flexed-arm hang? Basically it’s a pull up to a horizontal bar, but once you are up there, you stay up there as long as you can. Your chin has to be above the bar, but not touching it, and sometimes our p.e. class would have competitions to see who could hang the longest. Suffice it to say that although I was a skinny child, and got lots of flexed-arm hang practice while other kids were running ells, I never won those competitions.
It’s not that I was inactive. As a kid, I was outside all the time – I rode my bike, I swam at the pool, I played at the park. But organized sports and activities just weren’t my thing. I wasn’t any good at them. I played 1 year of soccer (fullback), 1 year of softball (right field), took 1 year of trampoline – I didn’t like any of it enough to stick with it. And in Jr. High and High School - I hated p.e.! P.E. was a dumping ground for all of the non-athlete kids who were not on a school team of some sort. I have to give them credit – they planned a wide variety of activities for us – from aerobics to swimming to archery to softball…but I didn’t like sweating, and particularly not in the middle of the school day with 5 minutes to clean up and dress for the next class.
In college we had to take p.e., too. It was a little better, because we had so many more choices, and you could schedule yourself so that you were not rushing from swimming to calculus, but I still took the minimum required. I did make an honest attempt to start running. My freshman roommate was a runner – she would get up at about 5:00 am each morning and run 6 miles. I was impressed! So I started trying to run (not at 5 am certainly) and I worked up to a couple of miles. I was actually in pretty good shape my first couple of years of college. But then I finished all of my required p.e. courses, remembered that I hated exercise, and quit running.
Since I was excused from ells, the (sadistic, whistle-blowing) p.e. teachers would make me do jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, and flexed-arm hangs while the other children ran. Have you ever done a flexed-arm hang? Basically it’s a pull up to a horizontal bar, but once you are up there, you stay up there as long as you can. Your chin has to be above the bar, but not touching it, and sometimes our p.e. class would have competitions to see who could hang the longest. Suffice it to say that although I was a skinny child, and got lots of flexed-arm hang practice while other kids were running ells, I never won those competitions.
It’s not that I was inactive. As a kid, I was outside all the time – I rode my bike, I swam at the pool, I played at the park. But organized sports and activities just weren’t my thing. I wasn’t any good at them. I played 1 year of soccer (fullback), 1 year of softball (right field), took 1 year of trampoline – I didn’t like any of it enough to stick with it. And in Jr. High and High School - I hated p.e.! P.E. was a dumping ground for all of the non-athlete kids who were not on a school team of some sort. I have to give them credit – they planned a wide variety of activities for us – from aerobics to swimming to archery to softball…but I didn’t like sweating, and particularly not in the middle of the school day with 5 minutes to clean up and dress for the next class.
In college we had to take p.e., too. It was a little better, because we had so many more choices, and you could schedule yourself so that you were not rushing from swimming to calculus, but I still took the minimum required. I did make an honest attempt to start running. My freshman roommate was a runner – she would get up at about 5:00 am each morning and run 6 miles. I was impressed! So I started trying to run (not at 5 am certainly) and I worked up to a couple of miles. I was actually in pretty good shape my first couple of years of college. But then I finished all of my required p.e. courses, remembered that I hated exercise, and quit running.
They say (“They” being all of these health/exercise/weight loss gurus) that everyone can find some sort of exercise that they enjoy. “Find out what you like. Try different things: swimming, walking, biking – until you find out what you enjoy.” If I heard that mantra once I heard it a thousand times, and nearly every time I heard it, it was followed by LVIMH (the Little Voice In My Head) saying “Bull-doodles! I hate exercise! I’ve tried it all, and although a few things are tolerable, I don’t like any of them! And, I never will. I simply do not like exercise!” (LVIMH tends to get a little verbose, plus she really likes exclamation marks, almost as much as I like commas.)
Since compulsory exercise became a thing of the past, LVIMH has pretty much had the upper hand on this topic. Not that I have not made attempts to become active. I joined Curves once, and the Y once, and I have tried other things, but always it was under the duress of LVIMH, who reminded me constantly that I HATE exercise. And it’s not just the exercise itself, it’s the sweating. When you get all sweaty, you have to take more time out of your day and shower, blow-dry, etc. If you want to exercise before work, you have to get up at a simply ungodly hour to fit it in. If you wait until after work, then the sun is gone by the time you get home. Exercise is a pain. And it’s inconvenient. And it’s stinky.
So, until a few months ago, I had pretty much resolved that I was never going to enjoy exercise. That I was going to have to do it as a necessary evil, like going to the dentist or paying my taxes. I had accepted this as FACT: “I hate exercise!”
To be continued…
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